Telebunot emosyon

Dahil masakit pa rin ang ipin ko until now, tumigil ako sa ginagawa kong paper works. Isipin nalang walang effect ang dolfenal na yan sa ngipin ko pero ang coated peanut perfect na perfect na gamot sa ipin ko pansamantala. Naubosan ako ng coated peanut kaya sumakit na naman yong ngipin ko. I told mah self na kailangan ko nga talagang kumain ng walang tigil para hindi na sasakit yong ngipin ko hahahaha

Well dahil masakit ang ngipin ko, feel kong mag-emote. Charots lang! I hope this post hindi ko mapagusapan ang work slash practicum hahaha

Don’t worry hindi naman ako titigil sa pagbablog. Kapag gagawin ko yon baka makalimutan nako ng mga fans ko. rooooottts carrooottss hahahaha 

Seriously ha, on the other side of me, I feel so free. Parang carefree napkin lang ata yon ha. Bwahahaha I felt free knowing that in time, everything is back to normal. I found myself once again (parang nasiraan ako ng bait sa statement ko na ito ha hahahaha) yes, it feels like na-refresh ako, na-reconnect and as well as I learned to live my life everyday as if it’s my last day. I cried once, twice and even over again but because of those pains in the past, I used that to be strong enough to endure all the pains that will come along my way.  Ang sarap magconnect sa nature kasi fresh na fresh ang feeling lang. lol

I think my heart for the last couple of months is completely ready for another try BUT! The problem is ang dumating, hindi ko gusto. I just discovered that bago ako pumunta ng Bukidnon. iba kasi kami ng paniniwala sa buhay. Kahit anong pilit or try, ayaw talaga eh. I know somehow I have hurt him in a way na kahit siya he knows I don’t like him. basta I know darating at darating din yong fair ang lahat, gusto ko siya at gusto niya ako. Charrooottss!! Hahahaha ay basta ayan kasi natuloyan na akong mag-emote hahaha

Basta I am just thankful that I have a new life. Maybe mas konti nalang ang time now para magemote, hahaha dapat laging masaya dahil hindi natin alam kung hanggang kalian lang tayo dito sa mundo. 

Kahit anong daldal ko pa dito, still masakit pa rin ang ngipin ko hahaha (in short, I made this an excuse now to eat again hahaha)

Reality 8: Ang painting ni Jessica at interpretasyon

Ang dami kong namiss sa life ko!

It was Tuesday dumating ang pinadala na painting ni Jessica, (hongsweet ni jessica) Wednesday ko na nadala dahil sa lagnat kong yon, hindi ako nakapagwork. Tambay higa pahinga sa bahay para hindi mag-50/50 ang buhay. I am grateful that despite sa busy kong life, I still have friends I know pag-uwi ko na dyan lang sila behind the monitor lol cover lang? hindi ko pa man nakitang personal ang mga taong mahilig tumambay sa social network sites, parang ang tagal ko na rin silang kilala, paano nababasa ang kanilang kwento sa kanilang sariling blogsite, oh diba, always part tayo sa buhay ng isang tao kapag nagbasa tayo sa kanilang buhay. Echos!

Dahil labadami labango ako kaniinang umaga, ngayon lang ako makapag-update at ma-ipost itong painting na pinadala ni Jessica. Super touch ako dahil pinaghirapan niya gumawa nito kahit sa mga pinagdadaanan niya sa buhay and as I have promised I’ll give my personal interpretation sa drawing niya. This is just only based sa common theory at experience ko in regards to social psych rin, (nababasa at na-aapply slight)

Madalas sinasabi ng iba na theory lang ang pag-interpret ng mga bagay2x lalo na kapag sa guhit at sa painting pero lalabas ba ang theory kung wala silang pinagkukunan nito? Depende siguro. Sa isang institution ng mga bata, pag-guhit ang madalas na ginagawang activity sa kanila para maintindihan sila especially yong mga bata na hindi nagsasalita, nagddrawing, nagkukulay at base sa output nila, doon babasahin kung ano ang gusto nilang ipahiwatig.

Totoo yon kasi may isang bata nga na ayaw magsalita, laging tulala pero kapag binigyan mo ito ng papel, Crayola at lapis nagreresponse siya at alam niyo ano ang ginuhit ng bata? Isang bata at may isang malaking lalaki na may balbas, malapit lang ang isang bata at ang lalaki at doon nalaman ano ang nangyari sa kanya dahil may nakalagay na maliit lang na line doon banda sa ari ng lalaki, meaning ginalaw ang batang ito. Nag-in depth investigation at doon nga naconfirm na may nangyari ngang hindi Maganda.

Ito naman kay Jessica na painting, a combination of yellow, red, black and orange, napaka intense ng energy niya, madami siyang iniisip siguro sa mga panahon na ginawa niya itong painting, minsan kasi hindi natin napapansin pero subconscious natin ang nagtutulak gawin ang isang bagay. Ang kapal ng pagkapinta ni Jessica sa black at red orange,  parang ang init ng dating sa akin, may gusto siyang gawin or kunin pero hindi niya ito alam papano, saan magsisimula at paano magsisimula, gustong mapag-isa malayo sa madaming tao, ang isang tree, ito ay pwedi nating maging comfort kapag tayo ay nalulungkot, ang hangin na binibigay ng puno ay parang nakakarelax ito, nakakaalis ng stress at nakakatulong ito linawin ang ating isip especially kapag may mga decision tayo sa buhay ng kailangan natin panindigan, kaso ang tree ni Jessica ay maitim, isa lang ang nasa isip ko, naghahanap siya ng matatakbuhan.

Black- gustong mapag isa, sa isang kwarto kapag kulay itim lumiliit ito, kahit gano kalaki ang kwarto. May pagkamysteryosa itong Jessica hahaha she is conservative, sophisticated and she wants to find comfort. Melancholic ang kanyang approach sa painting.

Yellow – makulay ang buhay ni Jessica, yellow represents happiness, positive outlook sa buhay, nagbibigay siya ng liwanag sa ibang tao, nagiging strength siya sa iba kagaya yan ng isang sun nagbibigay liwanag sa atin. Definitely, creative si Jessica, gusto ng challenge na Gawain, and this yellow represents more of the brain rather than a heart.

Red – hyper si Jessica hahaha, confident definitely, strong at may pinaglalaban talaga puno ng pagmamahal ang batang ito at gustong magbigay ng pagmamahal sa ibang tao lalo na doon sa walang wala. 

To combine them all, super intense talaga ang painting, high ang energy level, ang lalim, may pinaghuhugotan, may pinagdadaanan, may gustong sabihin at kumukulo na ito sa kanyang isipan hindi na mahintay na ipahiwatig. lol hehehe 

Ang subconscious pala natin ang pinakamadaling example na kaya kong ibigay ay itong mga lalaking nambubugbog ng asawa, oo diba nageexist pa yan sila, kung tatanonin sila kung ang tatay ba nila ay binubugbog ang kanilang nanay, 7 out 10, oo ang sagot. Kahit hindi nila gusto gawin ang bagay na yan pero yan ang kinalakihan nila, lalabas at lalabas talaga yan. Nasa likod ng isip nila at nakikita nila yon habang sila ay lumalaki na normal lang ang pangbubogbog kaya ito ay ginagawa nila din sa kanilang mga asawa. Kung ang babae na nambubogbog ng lalaki, well baka may dahilan yan kung bakit!! Hahahaha jowk! Hehe

Maraming thank you kay jessica for sending this painting with message sa likod, ipapaframe ko ito. hehehe ito ang unang painting nareceived ko sa isang kaibigan na natagpuan sa social network sites hehehehe ito ay gawin kong inspirasyon para mas lalo ko pang pangarapin ang maging doctor sa pagtulong intindihin ang sarili (para naman as if naintindihan ko ang aking sarili! bwahahaha). char!! echos!! at patuloy pa rin ang aking supporta sa passion mo at walang duda na naniniwala ako sa iyong kakayahan na malayo ang mararating mo jes!!! thanks ng marami ulit. muah! 

Syah, ito na muna ngayon kasi maglilinis ulit na ako. Lol

 

Napaisip ka rin ba nito?

I was reading the breaking news about the Connecticut shooting and it squeezed my heart. I am trying to hold up my tears while hearing the stories of the victims’ family. Innocent kids I remembered to be described by my late mother as “angels” for they were the ones, who light up the room, gave joy and happiness to parents. The world I believed is already in extreme confusion.

The news said that the gunman was troubled, he has a personality disorder and I know the mom did not denied it, in fact the mother was willing to help her child if needed. Kahit mahirap ang pilipinas, mayaman naman tayo sa values, pagmamahal ng pamilya. Pero minsan, hindi ko rin nakikita yan dahil madami pa ring mga bata nasa daan, napabayaan. Sa America, instant na ang lahat, completo pa, at advance sa mga technolohiya.

I believed in family is the basic unit in the society, it is the basic sa lahat ng bagay, ang pamilya din ang isa sa factor na bumuo ng pagkatao natin, kung ano ang values ng mga magulang natin ito ay nakukuha natin. Malamang, maraming tao sa mundo ngayon, hindi nakikita ang bagay na yan, but, I can say this kapag buo ang pamilya, maayos, wala ng masyadong social problems – wala ng prostitution, nakaw, street kids etc. kung sama-sama ang pamilya, magtutulongan walang imposible na maging maayos din ang anak nila.

Bakit ang isang doctor na tatay, may doctor na anak. Isang lawyer na tatay or nanay, may lawyer din na anak? Dahil ang anak ay laging tinitingala ang kanilang magulang. Isa na rin ako doon, ang mama ko ay isang social worker, at ako ngayon ay inaabot ang profession na yan. Madami akong tanong noon at hanggang ngayon hindi ko pa rin nasasagot ang iba! Hahaha tan-enah! Unending question na talaga!

Sa America, kapag ang anak is in troubled, the state would see and blame it sa mga magulang kagad, sensitive sila na nasa magulang ang problema, kaya madalas ang mga ganyang case, napupunta sa counselling center para ma-iayos ang kailangan ayosin bago magkaron ng another problem. Dito sa pilipinas, walang ganyan. Kapag problematic ang anak, pinapagalitan! Ang anak pa ang sinisisi minsan dahil sadyang gagu or ugali na talaga! Hahaha that reality naman oo! Pero hindi sensitive ang mga magulang na ganyan ang kanilang anak dahil na rin sa kanila, kung ano ang nakikita ng anak while he is growing up, yan din ang gagawin kahit ang iba sasabihin na hindi ako tutulad sa mga magulang ko pero subconsciously speaking, nangyayari. One example I can share is yong tatay na nanapak ng anak at babae, pustahan tayo, nong bata pa yang tatay na yan, nakikita niya na ang nanay at tatay niya ay nagsasapakan kaya he used to it, he thinks that tama and okay lang. kaya like I have said, the world now is in extreme confusion and values is fading.

Will be number 3, leaving number 2

I have been so busy the whole time, I forgot that it’s almost Christmas. Yeah, I know, I’ve seen a lot of decors already anywhere but because I live my life the way I want to, wala pa akong na-prepare for Christmas, i haven’t think something also for my birthday. It’s 28 days more to go and I’ll start number 3 end of number 2. Hahaha time is so fast when you are busy!

Everytime I opened my blog, may number one fan ako, walang post na wala siya, he always takes an effort to comment or leave something and I would like to thanked Archievinier sa walang sawa to leave his footsteps. At dahil wagi ka kuyah sa blog ko, ikaw ang first na hihingan ko ng Christmas Picture Greeting, (alam ko humihingi ka rin! Hahaha) Sali mo na rin ang Birthday greetings in the next 28 days ha! Hahaha aabangan ko yan! Kahit busy ang lola mo, sure yan marereceive ko sa email ko! (qlarrah@yahoo.com) Hahaha

I’ll hold and cross my finger that I can update my blog every day or every other day! nahuhuli na ako sa mga balita, I need to take an effort also to back read blogs. Ang dami ko pa naman kwento, I just don’t have enough time to make it. I need to keep this blog dahil nangarap pa naman ako magsulat ng libro 5 years from now! hahahaha libre mangarap! Kebs nalang! Hahaha

Need to fix bed now, time to sleep, it will be another day tomorrow!

Distorted thoughts

i decided to take this blog site permanently. I may be so busy in my life but I am still hoping I can drop myself, my thoughts and emotions here. i admit that I can’t recall things easily especially that runs over the years already, or maybe there are parts of my brain that refuses to remember some things unconsciously. In life, we can’t get away from problems, our intense emotions towards yourself, to other people even and I want to take that down every moment I spend with in my life. This blog site serves to be my partner in recalling things someday.

The good thing in blogging is no one will criticize your grammar, people give you the freedom to speak, to share and express what you got in yourself, it’s limitless. I have been blogging quite some time and It gave me a thought that if only I have saved those posts my emotions I had, probably I will be looking and reading them right now and think what have I done to myself! Hahaha

Blogging is one of my comfort zone as I say, I am free to express my feelings whether I am angry, sad or happy but so far what I’ve got was being angry, hurt and frustrated oh my gosh! Hahaha people might think I am not a happy person at all, lels!! Each person has his strong and weak points, no one is perfect! Our emotions are temporary because it changes in time, it varies. Maybe for now, I am not that happy as I wanted to be but soon enough I will find my own way to happiness. Anyways, happy blogging to me!! 

Real books vs. eBooks

There are a lot of things I want to do, like reading all the best motivational books, learning photoshop more, blogging, preparing the books for my major subjects this 2^nd semester. Definitely I can’t do it all simultaneously. I only have few days to relax before classes get started. It will be a busy semester for me, I got all 6 majors and I am also preparing myself for my practicum, hopefully. I am almost there to reach my dreams.

I am a frustrated reader. When I was a child, my father always encourages me to read books because he believes that by reading, you’ll get smarter, I don’t believe that at all, because I am just too lazy reading books, before I read it, I already fall asleep. Lels. Now that I am grown up, I certainly agree to my father! Hahaha today, I am always in a hurry to read books, I have downloaded ebooks, pdf about motivational books from bo sanchez, mitch albom, Rhonda byrne etc. They are one of those popular authors in time now. I am dying to read all of them in one day but I just couldn’t, I still have problems with my habit, I really adore people who are bookworm because they won’t stop until they finish the book. Wish I have that habit.

I love to watch books on the shelves but I don’t dare to get one and read, I am comfortable with our eBooks now. I have friends who still love to buy books from the store where I think every book now can be downloaded already from the net, they say, they still love to turn on the pages, to hold every page so they will feel the excitement of reading, well, that’s their views, they are comfortable with that and I still go for ebooks. Lol

I can’t stop downloading ebooks; I want to have them all in my adobe library so it will remind me to read whenever I have a free time. Wish in time, I have a good habit in reading. =)

Another good start to blog

I already have a lot in mind but I just couldn’t start blogging because I don’t feel like making a post when I know there’s a lot to work on with the blogsite. It’s not finish yet but I think this is better than how it look before. Anyway, I hope this is another good start for me to blog, to share what I know and feel towards the given life.

I got this feeling of excitement with the new look I made in this blog site. This is something between the light and dark theme. It does obviously mean that in reality, we go through darkness so that we will know how to appreciate when there’s light. Life is simple, we just make it complicated. People think too much, over do things as well, I myself is an over thinker, I don’t know and I couldn’t give an explanation why. I over do things, that’s why sometimes I can’t meet my own expectations. I get disappointed and frustrated but I rationalized things so It won’t give me heartaches.

Just like the blog header, the first thing I did was, I created a typography design on it but I have difficulties putting in the blogsite so I shifted it to something simple. I still won’t stop until I learn how to make it right. 

Hiatus

Wow just i have thought that na kaya kong isabay ang mag-aral, magwork, magblog, diyos ko lord ang super hirap!! i've been so busy the last semester then dagdag pa ang summer classes na todo dugo na ang pwet ko kakaupo dahil as much as possible ayoko mag-absent. well i don't know how far i will go sa blogging career ko (megenun talagang kerer!! haha) nakakamiss na rin magblog, magkwento sa araw mo-masaya or galit at inis ka man at may ibang taong hindi mo kilala na nagbabasa sa blog mo at a simple comment from them will make you smile, that's a simple thing but it is kinda a big thing to you already. so much i wanted to update my blogsite, tell all the things happened in my life kaso hindi ko na na-aasikaso, nabebehind na ako sa ano ang latest sa blogsphere. ngayon, i could say na nakakapagpahinga ako kasi i have my weekend back, no hassle, no more worries to think of, no classes yet and nakabawi na rin ako ng tulog. ang aasikasuhin ko na talaga ngayon promise totoo na 'to ang pagpapayat na!! hahaha 

Another blog chapter begins

It’s been almost three months since the last time I updated my blog. There are actually a lot of thoughts that runs through my mind along those months of being silent here, only that I just couldn’t force myself to blog on it, I just need a little inspiration to do that, aside from being busy from work and school, there are also personal issues that I need to attend it first before anything else. I missed blogging.

As I have promised myself for this 2012, I will make it sure that this time I will complete the 12 months of the year with full of updates in my life – personal or not. This is also a thing that I need to do in order for me to reflect on the lessons I’ve learned along my journey in life.

I supposed to write an update about my birthday yesterday but as I have said, I need an inspiration to push me to blog the important events of my life. I have been sick for almost 9 days so partly I am losing my willingness to do things I wanted to do. Now I am getting better and I can finally manage to think, smile and eat well.

So, another blog chapter begins!!