Rub that alcohol more

Under the influence of rubbing alcohol. Lol

Weeee. Woot. I think I am going to burst this out personally or might as well just slip it over a couple of glasses. You know what I mean, I am very good & confident in telling the truth but I just couldn’t say it right to your face. There are hundreds of thoughts exchanged, thousands of word expressed but the truth about you & me, I just find it so hard to tell, so complicated even.

When I let you go that moment, I know that was the best thing I could do. I am following my dreams as you also did. It’s been years I think. I almost forgot what we were, what we had. Life just change so fast. I can’t even remember the last time I said I am going to wait. I am not the same anymore, I am not the person you used to know. I am happy of what I have become, this is not about you after all, I became who I am today because this is what & where I want to be. I forgot the feeling of being cared & loved by someone, or maybe I just ignored that anyway.

Wtf! I wanted to finally divulge this blogsite, for you to know what I’ve been in my life, do you really care? Coz now, I don’t anymore. A few rounds of glasses, this made me stupid, thinking & deciding probably. I am on my way now of starting a new path, my head is telling me that I want you to ride & take a journey together but this amazes me because you know what, my heart doesn’t want to anymore, I swear! I can’t find you in there & I am very happy of this discovery. This is I think – FAIR enough though.

I just love what I have right now & whom I am with – my family & friends, that is. This is the first & last time I am going to share what I had with you in the past. I just couldn’t do it anymore. The fuck it is! Lol but that’s the truth. I can’t deal it. I can’t fight it. My heart belongs to someone I think – that! I never meet it, yet or I may be I met him already but isn’t yet our time. This is the only thing I knew, you’ve seen my worst & supposedly you deserve my best but I just couldn’t afford it anymore to share what I’ve got now & what I think the best I could give. I just simply don’t find you anywhere anymore. I can finally say this, I am closing a chapter of my life where you were there. Thank you, that’s all I can say.

P.S.

Christmas beers are not advisable! Lol

Sniff pa! Singhot pa more!

I’ve realized something today, definitely YES! I know I’m going to regret it for the next five years!?! Yeah! 5 years! Wtf! Ain’t?! I was looking at my old passport and then there boom! Yeyeeh! I looked like a drug addict & a pusher! Hahaha I went to dfa today and one hell of a day almost ang hinugot ko and I am trying to convince myself that moment that YES finally! Oh! This is my chance to at least improve my picture and be happy for the next five years again!?! Ek..ek..klavu processing… wwoooottt!! Anak ni darna kung meron man yan! Pls wag ng ibigay ang bato! Futeks!! If I look like a drug addict nong old passport ko wow! Kumusta naman ang new passport ko, I look like now a drug lord! Wtf! Right?! Shit eh! Hahahahahaa I just couldn’t move on for a while until now! Holy crap! Holy ninja!!! Wala na akong magawa! So keber na sa mga ninja titingin ng passport ko!

Just right after my dfa appointment, I finally got my planner, an early present from teacher kat. Wwwoooottt.. kendeng, kendeng, galaw galaw para hindi mastroke ang taba! Chos! Hahaha Thanks teacher kat for this & it was so sweet and thoughtful of you. I’ll keep in mind that wish, not just for me or you but sa atin yon dalawa! Hahaha wwooott! He will come in the most perfect time and unexpected place. Charrrooottt sa ating dalawa! Hahahaha Cross my fingers that mapuno ko itong planner na ito with God's grace for the year 2015!! 

Humanda ang 2015 ko nito!
AYAN OH! bday ko! haha

Ang sweet ni teacher kat kasing
 sweet ng pusa niya haha

I just love my day totally! Lalo na having a 3 hour straight random conversation with a dear friend! Wwoott! Like imyang said “ate it’s been a while we talked serious stuff!” chos! Hahaha oo! Kasi ngayon we can’t have any proper conversation kasi may bonjing na kami at isang nognog so wwweezz chance puro nalang kalokohan! That’s what this big four do most of the time! Ayey!  

"imyang"
May ganyan! feeling
sensitive case lang ito! lol

"Si nognog at bonjing"
bentang benta ang dalawang ito kaya
para iwas gulo na, tinakpan ang
kalahati ng mukha! chos! 

ang happy signpen na
ballpen ko! haha

Ang babaw ko lang then pag-uwi ko, no joke, I was looking for an old notebook of mine nong nag-aaral pa ako and guess what I’ve found, yes! My ballpen na signpen din! Hahaha natuwa ako! Shit lang! wwwooott! I’ve been looking for this kasi ang alam ko talaga may ganito akong pen eh, kaso nawala so ito na nakita ko na! hahaha

Ay last, this is for a friend, a long time friend who is currently in Japan – like I said, hold on to whatever you are going through, just remember that you always have us, you have a home when you get back soon & we will always be your wings in case you’ll be losing some of your feathers.

Life is so real & beautiful if we just learn to appreciate the small things & acknowledge those people na minsan natulungan ka at andon sila sa moment you have nothing! Thank you & hoping one day I will be given the chance to share also my gratitude to others! (natatakot talaga ako kapag nagiging so seryos ang ending kasi ito na nga ang signs na guguho na ang mundo charrooottt lang! hahaha) wwooottt. tambling tambling ikot ikot and splleettttsss. wooottt.

The TeleMoves

One day I will be able to break my own silence, it’s been almost a year already and yes I know I have moved on from the fact that I had to get through one of the toughest way I could just to understand & help myself believing that there are things in life are not the same the way it has to be.

I told myself then, I should focus on the things na meron ako, forget those nawala because basically they aren’t that important to be with you sa darating na umaga. I think so. I never said that I was right all along. I am just being honest to not just what I think I feel but I am being true to my emotions towards such situation. For all the things I went through in life, I believe naman na I was prepared in the past to face what’s for today. I just can’t believe I made it through all the way! I swear and I admit that it was one hell ride of my life back then.

I am very happy of what I have become after everything. I learn to be humble enough, put some humility to myself, I even learn to listen more. I think the best part there was, I learn to know about what I am capable of and what I want to be as a human being. I learn to value gratitude after all & give away all the love I could share to those who are in need.

It’s just so ironic that because people seen you as a strong woman, a person that would never break in, no one would think or maybe ask “how are you!” that’s really funny to me, really! Why? Everybody thinks that “kaya” mo ang lahat, super duper woman ka sa lahat ng bagay which is a big MALI! We all have our own breaking moments, maybe it’s just that strong people don’t show it often. I always did that however, I just managed it in my own way thinking that “I know there are people out there na mas mabigat pa yong problema nila kaysa sa akin” so I just leave it that way anyway!

Whatever it is, I am pretty sure that I am on my way of getting my own dreams. I may look back one day, but I know it will never be the same then. I am just happy of what I am today & I am living my life according to God’s plan. God must have a great reason why things just happened that way. As long as I know I am not hurting anybody, I am fine with that.

So long & God Bless you always!

Wwwooootttt.. seryus mode akech! Haha 

Version Two point O-hh ( V2.0 ) na si Telelalahbells

So it is! Yes! I’m finally & officially back!! (kailangan may fireworks – wwoossh!! Wwoott!! Hahaha)

Umandar ang pagka-OC ko sa mga bagay-bagay! Yeah! Yeah! I am! I am up for 2 days editing sa blog ko! I just couldn’t stop doing it hanggang I’ll get not just a result but at least better man lang! chos lang! hihihihi More than ten times na attempt to change my header, isang araw na nakababad sa photoshop last weekend! Pumapayat na nga ako ng slight dahil nakakalimutan ko ng kumain! (mga 1 cm lang konting konti – boom! Sayaw sayaw! Haha)

So goodbye this header! Thank you sa pagiging yellow sa aking buhay for the last 2 years na siguro! Wwoott!! I'm so seryos with this header! haha but i mean it kung ano man ang nakalagay dito! The butterfly here - paborito kasi ng "mommy" ko yan, everytime may nakita siyang ganyan sa bahay noon she never failed to tell us "its a soul." Since she's not here anymore with us na rin, yan ang nagpaparemind sa akin everyday lalo na kapag nakikita ko tong blog kong 'to. Ang nakasulat - maging biik siguro ang pusa bago mangyari yan! charaught lang! hahaha 

Hello GRAY and white theme! Samahan mo ako sa mga darating na taon! Don’t be pampam! Makiuso ka lang muna! Temporary pa siguro ang mukhang yan kasi naghahanap pa ako ng butterfly na babagay sa tele-ma-gray at white kong kaarte-artehan header. hahaha OC ako at hindi ako mapalagay even until this moment! haha haiizz.. makaspleeeett nga sandaleh! woott! 

May kadramahan pa akong version 2.0 - the best of me! echuws! Kebs! Sabagay, explain ko lang kahit hindi mo na kailangan ng ekplenasyon! haha YES! it's VERSION TWO point OH na dahil i can say that i am better now, i am stronger than i was yesterday, i managed my life positively & finally naabot ko na ang pangarap ko - at nagsisimula ulit ako ng panibagong ipopokpok sa utak ko! hahaha 

The best of me kasi i've seen my worst already! This is now the moment i can say, ito na ang best ko! This is it, I am ready! ! After all, life is too short to waste it! So let's grab & have that drink (tubig lang diet ako! hahaha) 

Huling huli na ito - say HI also to my new post template (a.k.a signature)! 

Totoo na ito!

So yes! i made a new header! This means that the day has finally come (charaught!) na papalitan ko na ang header ko at totoo na ito, magcchange ako ng background na! Kakayanin ko tong gawin ito in the next 3 hours (malakas ang net for now haha) sana nga!!! wwoooott!!! patambling tambling!! giling giling!!! spliittttinngg!! hahaha 

Yccos "Meow" visits "Telelalahbells"

I need to debrief myself immediately. Chos!!! Haha

The 100k painting -
mas malaki pa kai
teacher kat lol

One of the PBO’s (Pinoy Bloggers Outreach) attractive (and active) member especially by means of smallness & prettiness ( LOL ) came to Cagayan de Oro City unexpectedly. All the way from Quezon City transferred to Taguig City, Metro Manila accordingly (drum roll please), 2_ (I intentionally not to put a number next to 2! Haha), 5’ FLAT? (wooottt! Alam na!) & proud to be a bekeey! Presenting Ms. Kat a.k.a “meow” slash “yccos” (I’m seryos, pilit na pilit akong maging seryos! Chos! Hahaha)

I’m very happy indeed! Yeyy!! In such short notice & time, we still manage to make our weekend a worth to remember. That is not also possible without the help of my friends – Peps (wag ng alamin ang totoong pangalan ng taong ito dahil babalik tayo sa panahon ng spanyol haha) , Imee “Imyang” (dahil mas matanda pa sa akin ito kumilos, madalas may dalang panghilod ito kahit san magpunta) and Juan in tagalog John in English (pinaghandaan niya ang BANAT statement na yan para kay “Kat” dahil sa Filipino subject lang nagsasalita ng tagalog mga tao dito samin! so OA lang ang sinabi ko! Hahaha) siniraan ko talaga mga kaibigan ko eh! Nyahahahaha soreh! Soreh!

Syempre selfie - nakiuso

Our day started with sumakay kami ng “motorela” (only in cdo yan! Rooowww!!) & had a pambansang breakfast at “jabebey!” hahaha ohh yes! Of course we then visited first the Cagayan de Oro City Cathedral to pray & went to Xavier University after – hindi kami nakapasok kasi nakapekpek shorts si “kat” hahahaha akalain mo yon?! Conservative masyado kami dito eh!! Charot lang! hahaha something came up may konting emergency so pumunta kami sa lugar nila peps then went straight after to Provincial Capitol where I used to work for 7 years & may malaking sculpture kung saan masayang tingnan si kat na pilit niya itong yakapin ng buo! (hahaha) dahil sa sobrang init – sa isang mall pa din ending namin at we had our coffee sa starbucks. (mainit na kape inorder namin, parang hindi din kami nakaligtas sa init ng panahon! Haha). Our lunch was at Bucher’s Best (dito may 14 php pa na bbq).

Earthquake

I love this pic! EcoVillage!

Just as exactly 1 pm we decided to go to Capitol University Museum (kung san andon ang history ng Cdo), touristang tourista lang kami eh kasi first time ko rin pumunta don ano! (bahahaha) sa next destination namin of course not just once but ohh yes! 2^nd time kong pumunta don! (feeling proud hahaha) 15 mins away from the City, sumakay kami ng jeep at “habal-habal” papuntang “ECO VILLAGE” nakuh! Lakas maka-earthquake ang lugar na ito! Masarap kasi magjumpshot dito! Haha it’s all pure nature! Sarap! Masarap yong pababa pero nong pabalik na, yong butas ng ilong ko kasing laki ng kamao ni pacman na! one of the best thing happened nong pauwi na kami – hinamon nila akong mag limbo rock nong palabas na kami (naka-inclined na ito) gustohin ko man pero feeling ko maging bola ako na pagulong-gulong pag nagkamali ako ohhh dibah! Nasa isip ko pa lang, may nangyari na kay “Juan in English John” tumambling lang naman siya oh see kumusta naman kung ako yon! Susmaryusep!! Maawa ako sa daan! Hahahaha after “Eco Village” went straight to “limketkai mall” (kapag cdo – LKK Mall ang trademark! Only in cdo lang yan talaga) & back to Imee’s “Imyang’s” dorm to get kat’s bag & stayed Jollibee nearby for a while at pumunta na kami straight sa 2^nd home ko para don magstay overnight – sa bahay nila peps. Hahaha

Boystown Outreach

Saturday night we prepared the hygiene kits for the outreach kinabukasan. Thanks to PEPS sa lahat dahil he allowed us to be part of his Org for a day! (I can’t thank u enough really, wwooott!) the following day pumunta kami sa “Boystown” ng Cdo located away from the city, mga 1 hour din yong binyahe namin with all the rough road along & free natural powder! Oh diba bongga! Hahaha I am very happy dahil may malaking part si Kat during our outreach dahil we let her interact with the kids as well as nagconduct din siya ng activity sa mga bata. Fulfilling! kaso bitin lang! Right after our outreach, dahil maaga natapos I called a friend who is just nearby para kumain ng French fries at beefsteak! Hahaha she’s a friend for almost 15 years din kaya at home na rin ako sa bahay nila! Chos! Ang layo din naman ng nilakad namin ano (super init pa!), tunaw na tunaw yong taba ko don! Effortless!

After Outreach -
Yccos with the Big Four

Exactly 12 noon kami umalis sa bahay ng friend ko and dumating kami downtown mga 1 na siguro yon, kumain ng sundae all from Mcdonalds dahil SUNdaey! Haha just waited for Pep’s sister for a while naiwan yong tablet ni kat sa bahay nila Peps. Parang ayokong tapusin tong entry nato kasi alam ng uwian na eh! Hahaha charowt! Hinatid namin si Kat sa LKK Mall kung saan don siya sasakay ng Van going to the airport, that’s around 2:30 na siguro, had few group pictures and ayon na ba-bye na talaga! Haaaiiizzz! Lol There’s no goodbye but see you again soon!! That is!!! Yeey!!

GRACE - Our fries & beef steak

For a day & a half na kasama ko si Teacher Kat “yccos” ito lang masabi ko – may katapat ako!!!! Hahaha she’s bubbly & a positive thinker! What I admired the most yong pagiging flexible niya (knowing I also have my friends with me during her visit) AT ito pa – ang talino ha in fairness hindi ko carry yong history ng pinas, wala nga akong matanong don eh! (tulog ako nong kinuha ko ang subject na yan! Hahaha) I hate being so big sa mga pictures namin kasi ang liit niya!! Literal! Hahahahaha the best I could describe KAT - “NO PRETENTIONS!!!” what you see, what you’ve read is what you get!!! Yes!! It is!!

MecMec - Pep's Home

It was a worth weekend!!! Thank you teacher kat for the visit & next time ulet!! Wooott!!! I can’t thank enough also to Pep’s Family – Tita slash Mama Merelyn & ang pangarap kong katawan sa hilaw kong kapatid na si MecMec, na always ready and on the GO!!! Of course si Juan in English it’s JOHN – official icebreaker!!! Imee slash Imyang as well as our official photographer all throughout!!! Hahaha I LOVE YOU Guys!! (wid feelings, CAPSLOCK para intense!! Hahaha)

Today... i declare.

as of today, i declare that this blog is under construction!!! lol 

-working on some changes...woooot...weeet...
-buwis buhay editing mode! let's make this blog white! rrootts!
-from black to white, im going to extract all the fats in me just to make a new banner! salty fluid is coming up!! haha