Court trial experience

I just don’t know how to start and end this. Just read at your own risk. Rooootttss!! Hahaha I feel so stressed, really. I mean just for today. I don’t understand what I feel when I entered the hall of justice of Malaybalay Bukidnon. One of our clients went on trial today and OMG! As in OMG! Kanina lang ulit ako kinabahan ng todo, yong kaba na halos matatae kana, hindi ka makakain or makakainom ng tubig at parang may hangin sa tyan mo na it’s definitely hindi ko madescribe yong feeling. 

Well para akong tanga when I entered the court room, huling huli kasi akong pumasok kaya wala akong maupoan sa likod so I have no choice but doon ako sa gitna and yong nasa gilid ko (right side) mga almost 10 detainees. So like okay, they are still human kahit they committed murder, sell drugs at yong rape na case. Hindi ko kilala yong perpetrator ng client, hindi ko rin namukhaan kasi it’s our first time to attend her court hearing kasi trial na nga. 

Nong tinawag na sya, pinapapasok yong client namin and mas doon ang kaba ko dahil when she entered the court room together with my co-interns, shets lang yong dalawang tao na nasa right ko as in the nearest two, yong isa don was the perpetrator. Paking tape diba! And like they were talking “ohh! (name inserted) and the other said that “siya si ____” oh the hell silang dalawa diba dahil same sila ng kaso kaya pinaguusapan nila ang mga kagaguhan nila futangs ina nila! Lol I am not mad really. Not really! Hahahaha

So now nong tinawag na ang name nong perpetrator syempre, dumaan yong perpetrator sa likod namin, so like the feeling was paking tape parang yong mga intestine at liver ko eh napunta na sa heart ko sa sobrang kaba ko for I don’t know the reason. Hahaha and nong natapos ng pumunta ang perpetrator sa harap, ulit bumalik sya at dumaan sa likod and guess what diba he tried to talk to our client like “ate, ate…” (yon tawag niya kasi eldest kasi yong client pero stepdaughter lang naman niya yong client namin) so now yong dalawa kong kasamang interns niyakap yong client namin and hindi pinatingin at I don’t know nagfefeeling bouncer lang ako naman hahaha hinarang ko sya and told him “NO” with the kamay action harang. Roooottts! Hahaha yon ang nangyari sa loob ng court.

Now sa labas ng court, humingi ng 5 minute recess yong fiscal (lawyer ng client namin) para kausapin yong client namin. (our client was known na for ilang attempts magtrial – laging umiiyak kasi sa sobrang kaba at natatakot siyang magkamali ng statement sa mga gulat factor ng defense lawyer) SO, yong lawyer pumunta sa labas and biglang nagalit at sinabihan yong client namin na “wag kang magddrama dyan, kung gusto mo ng justice” (sa isip ko – saksakin ko kaya to!) and hindi pa siya nakontento siguro sinabihan niya ako (kasi nakatayo pa ako sa harap ng client) “SINO NAMAN KAYO!?” (hahahaha pakyu!) then our center social worker sabi “they are social work interns” then she replied like “AWWW… because NAKAKA-INTIMIDATE KAYO!” (at saan banda?! Roootts) sabi nong kasama kong intern, baka kasi dahil sa nangyari sa loob ng court room na hinarang namin yong perpetrator hahaha futeks kasi kami lang nasa loob that time dahil yong social worker mismo kasi wanted us to learn and experience kung ano ang meron talaga sa loob.

All in all, they wanted to lower the sentence yon ang hiling nila, in fact nilapitan pa kami nong nanay ng perpetrator and again dahil epal ako, after a few minutes na pakiusap sa client namin inakbayan ko si nanay at told her na “ok na nay, you’ve heard the minor’s decision” (our client decided not to lower the sentence and she will continue the trial kasi andun na sya, madami na rin daw nangyari so ipagpapatuloy na niya, walang atrasan) pinaalis ko si nanay kasi ayoko na dagdagan yong hirap ng client namin, hindi madali yong pinagdadaanan niya talaga and I feel that. sobrang kaba ko na nga how much more sya, na sya yong magsasabi sa harap ng judge kung ano talaga ang nangyari.

Almost na sana yon na hindi nalang magttrrial kasi pumayag na kami sa offer ng kabila na 10 years to 17 years and 6 months to 6 years na sentence kasi dalawa yong case na-file against the perpetrator. 

Pero I think the judge mismo hindi pumayag so wala kaming nagawa but to present our client sa court, as in siya na magsalita sa harap ng kanyang perpetrator. Para akong nanood ng movie, para din naulit ang lahat ng nangyari sa bata na kung SANA IF PWEDE lang wag na sana pagusapan pa doon or ulitin kasi yong trauma uulit na naman. Pero kailangan gawin ng bata para matapos na ang sinimulan niya. Like we always told her “kailangan mong tumawid dito para sa future mo” matalino kasi yong client namin, interesado mag-aral at makikita mo sa kanya yong determination niyang gusto niya magcollege kaso hindi niya alam saan siya titira at sino magpapaaral sa kanya dahil wala na siyang uuwian. Yong mother niya hindi pumanig sa kanya even the relatives. 

Anyways, thankful lang talaga kami today na nasurpass ng client namin yon trial niya at natapos rin after ilang attempts. Hindi pa namin ano ang decision dahil I think kailangan pa ng proof pa. stressful talaga sya, swear hehehe while she’s on trial halos hindi kami makagalaw sa kaba, hawak kamay nalang kami ng mga co-interns ko just to stretch and gained strength sa isa’t isa. It took almost an hour na question and answer and ramdam namin talaga ang hirap ng bata at kahit yong mga pangyayari parang nauulit na naman pero like i told her again na “this is your turning point, and after this, everything will be in placed” kasi we all know talaga we have our own turning points, trials in life and because of that mas naging matatag tayo at handa harapin ano man ang darating.

SO.. everything happens for a reason. I thanked God for all the strength he gave us today, it is indeed a long day pero kahit papano na-relieve kami. And what we are facing this week is our end of practicum sa center. We will be assigned sa community na this 2^nd semester. So again, goodluck to bags of luha. Hehehe 

Telebunot emosyon

Dahil masakit pa rin ang ipin ko until now, tumigil ako sa ginagawa kong paper works. Isipin nalang walang effect ang dolfenal na yan sa ngipin ko pero ang coated peanut perfect na perfect na gamot sa ipin ko pansamantala. Naubosan ako ng coated peanut kaya sumakit na naman yong ngipin ko. I told mah self na kailangan ko nga talagang kumain ng walang tigil para hindi na sasakit yong ngipin ko hahahaha

Well dahil masakit ang ngipin ko, feel kong mag-emote. Charots lang! I hope this post hindi ko mapagusapan ang work slash practicum hahaha

Don’t worry hindi naman ako titigil sa pagbablog. Kapag gagawin ko yon baka makalimutan nako ng mga fans ko. rooooottts carrooottss hahahaha 

Seriously ha, on the other side of me, I feel so free. Parang carefree napkin lang ata yon ha. Bwahahaha I felt free knowing that in time, everything is back to normal. I found myself once again (parang nasiraan ako ng bait sa statement ko na ito ha hahahaha) yes, it feels like na-refresh ako, na-reconnect and as well as I learned to live my life everyday as if it’s my last day. I cried once, twice and even over again but because of those pains in the past, I used that to be strong enough to endure all the pains that will come along my way.  Ang sarap magconnect sa nature kasi fresh na fresh ang feeling lang. lol

I think my heart for the last couple of months is completely ready for another try BUT! The problem is ang dumating, hindi ko gusto. I just discovered that bago ako pumunta ng Bukidnon. iba kasi kami ng paniniwala sa buhay. Kahit anong pilit or try, ayaw talaga eh. I know somehow I have hurt him in a way na kahit siya he knows I don’t like him. basta I know darating at darating din yong fair ang lahat, gusto ko siya at gusto niya ako. Charrooottss!! Hahahaha ay basta ayan kasi natuloyan na akong mag-emote hahaha

Basta I am just thankful that I have a new life. Maybe mas konti nalang ang time now para magemote, hahaha dapat laging masaya dahil hindi natin alam kung hanggang kalian lang tayo dito sa mundo. 

Kahit anong daldal ko pa dito, still masakit pa rin ang ngipin ko hahaha (in short, I made this an excuse now to eat again hahaha)

4 Nights and 5 Days

Lemeeee begin with a simple twerking dance. Charrooottss hahaha wooootttt… pap-parap-pap-pap!!!

How i started my stay.

YES!!! Yes because I spent 4 nights and 5 days sa isang branch ng center namin na nag-sheshelter ng mga batang survivor ng sexually abuse (we term it survivor dahil strength based tayo this time, that is according to unicef) 

Yes dahil patapos na ang aking practicum and I had the opportunity na pumunta sa Malaybalay, Bukidnon dahil ang 5^th case ko is doon sya nashelter kaya I need to stay so I can conduct sessions and study sa bata. Sa 3 months na I spent my days sa main center, talagang na-compressed ko in 5 days doon, kulang na kulang yong oras talaga but yon lang kasi ang oras na pwedi sakin because may subjects pa akong naiwan pero kung wala malamang 4 months magrequest akong don ako titira hahaha

Anyways, nakakastress man dahil yong case ko

This is my 2nd day. Bonding time in the pineapple plantation.

is medyo different from the usual case I had such as yong sibling and incest case. Ito is quite different dahil sabi ng social worker sa center (supervisor ko), kailangan ko i-dig ang kaso ng bata then she said “this is your 5^th case, this must be a tough one so it fits for you” naahh!! When I read it, boom!! Yes it’s different talaga kasi the incident happened 2 years ago, that is according to the child but there’s more than that when I discovered it nong nagpapamedico legal na kami. Isipin mong 3 hours kami sa women’s desk. Iyak dito, iyak doon, hawak sa upuan sabay pasok ung ulo don sa ilalim ng upuan. Ayaw niya magpapamedico legal. We respect that of course but if walang medico legal kasi walang case na mafifile so maiwang Malaya yong taong nag-aabuse nong bata. 

School visit. We fetched them also after our appointment.

The child is responsive sa mga tanong ng doctor pero once magsstart na yong papahiga na sya biglang nalulugmok na naman sya and started to cry out loud and telling us that “ayoko, ayoko because ang dami ng nakakakita nakakahiya na” okay, again we respect that and everybody decided to leave the room pero wala pa ren its almost 5:30 in the afternoon and we failed na mapamedico legal yong bata.

kids loves picture taking. sorry i covered their face bawal kasi.

Pero after 3 days I think, na convince rin namin siya for medico legal and this time we’re hoping na it’s real na talaga. Tinupad naman niya pero half lang ang nakita kasi yong other half eh hindi pwedi mahawakan or ma-open lalo kasi daw super sakit. Sabi ng doctor, hindi nalang ipilit total kahit incomplete daw eh positive naman daw yong bata na na-abuse at pwedi na daw magfile ng case. But then, yong discovery ko about the kid mas lumalim ng lumalim kaya sabi ko talaga sa social worker naming sa center na puntahan ko sya sa bukidnon so I can spend time with her and maintindihan ko yong running case niya. Pero nalaman ko din na hindi na-file yong case dahil minor yong lalaki (CICL) naakkk!! Naman!! Pwedi bang ibalik ang death penalty!? So ano ito? Aantayin yong lalaki na darating sa tamang edad saka i-aarrest? But the minor (abuser) will go to a diversion program ata something basta ang alam ko now, walang case na na-file, so ibig sabihin non pagala-gala pa rin yong lalaki. 

This what i do after our appointment in the city. Stress reliever.

Staying sa center for 4 nights and 5 days, ang dami kong natutunan sa mga bata. I was also amazed doon sa time we spent na nag-gather kami ng mga woods at twigs, we all have our small talks, sabi nila they used to gather woods and sell it as well as they know pano mapa-amo yong cow at carabao pero natuwa talaga ako don sa part na pauwi na kami at yong isang bata kumuha ng itak with all the feelings na tinadtad yong katawan ng gemilina tree and sabi nong isang bata “HOY! Bakit mo yan tinadtad!” ang sagot ng bata “kasi sinugatan niya yong paa ko!” hahaha yong kasama kong intern napaupo kakatawa kasi naisip pa yon ng bata lol well it was really fun to be with them kaso kulang talaga sa time, we’re just looking forward to see them all here sa cdo sa upcoming family day ng mga bata where their family and social workers will come to visit and spend time with them. 

So back with my case again, ibang iba siya sa center sa panahon na magkasama kami sa hospital dahil mas nakita ko yong pagiging makulit niya at maingay sa lahat ng bagay, magaling din siyang kumanta at sumayaw. Sabi ko nga sa kanya na sa last night naming sumayaw siya, sinagot niya ako “wala akong damit, wala akong bracelets at hanky” part kasi siya ng indigenous group kaya ganon nalang, specific siya. Hahaha 

A time to gather woods and twigs for bone fire.

So much for that, madami man paperworks sa center, dami ko man iniisip, all the pictures na makikita niyo is yon ang time we tried to compressed it maspend sa mga bata. We also went to their school para Makita kung ano ba sila kapag nasa skwelahan, they are really proud and sikat na sikat sila sa school nila dahil at that time we brought a camera with us so we took pictures and everybody is looking at them. Doon naman sa pinya plantation, marunong na marunong silang mag-identify ng matamis na pinya they also taught me how to get a pinya, yong kailangan mo pang ikotin yong buong pinya para makuha mo sya don sa crown niya. At ang best part sa stay namin is yong family night namin na gumawa ako ng “bannock” na i-wwrap sa hotdog. They’re only seven sa center ng bukidnon kaya na-afford namin ng co-intern kong sagotin ang hotdog at bannock hahahaha hindi kasi naming carry sa main center dahil there are 20 of them. So yon ang adventure ko sa Malaybalay Bukidnon sa 4 nights and 5 days. And oo nga pala, paguwi ko, lagnat inabot ko dahil sa weather doon, isipin mo nalang yong cold water na iniinom natin galing ng fridge natin yon lang ang normal na lamig ng tubig kapag naliligo ka. Hahaha halos hindi nga ako nakakainom ng water don most of the time I had 4 cups of coffee a day. wooott!! Hahahaha 

This the finale. Last night in the center.

So ito lang muna, I will be very busy in the next 2 to 3 weeks kasi I have deadline ng october 12 at family day ng october 11 so still we’re looking for benefactors to help us build a study area for the girls in the center so they will start to build their dreams too and believe that there will always a dream waiting for them. You and I can be a part of the child’s dream. God bless everyone!! Happy blogging. Woootttt!!! Pakkk-parak-pak!! Hehehehe 

Everyday may not be good...

I will be serious with my post maybe, hoping and let’s just see. Hehehe anyways, maybe I am just so tired today, nakakabadtrip yong schedule sa graduation pictorial and duh?! Hindi kasi porket kayo ang madaming population sa school kaya pinagbibigyan kayo, dahil ano? Kayo ang nag-aakyat ng pera? Ganon? Ohhh well, so kung kayo ang nag-aakyat ng pera, ano naman kami? Kami ang nagbibigay ng magandang record ng school for the last 5 years and because of that rising ang number of students ng mga social work ngayon. Charroootts. Anyways, bahala na kayo. Hahaha I’m just tired today siguro, waited for almost 7 hours para sa graduation pictorial na yan. Basta all I know, tapos na, success ang pictorial kahit mukhang ice cream na natutunaw yong mga make-up namin.

Sooooo…. Ammmm… baaannggg… baaamm…

Malapit na ako matapos sa practicum so that means, may ilang araw lang siguro ako makakapagpahinga. Actually natapos ko na ang 500 hours required but I still have requirements to finish pa. another 500 hours again this second sem. Ohh life, ohh sunshine talaga magpakita kana. Echhenng!!

I will be at the center bukas, busy busyhan kami sa upcoming activity ng mga bata, their family day. there were times I look back and naisip ko na oo nga ano hindi ako nakakapagblog nong start ng practicum ko dahil pag uwi ko sa gabi, I always felt so tired and talagang nakakatulog ako at sa umaga naman I have to rush dahil  may pasok ako sa umaga. Student life you know! Hahaha 

Lately lang ito, at naprove ko talaga na super nakakastress nga, I was making a case study of my client and itong client ko ay isa sa mga hard client, meaning may behavioral problem, mga paniniwala na possible oo possible namang hindi. Mahirap kasi nasa teenager na sya and may pag-iisip na talaga, independent though minsan may pagkaisip bata. I find it hard kasi aside from her behavioral problem, yong paniniwala niyang na-hypnotized siya kaya the sexual abuse happened, yes possible yon pero according to the community, it was a “kolto.” It is a religious na paniniwala ng lahat ok lang na gamitin ang isang babae dahil that way eh they will be saved sa araw ng judgment.

Guess what, halos 3 weeks akong nagisip pano ko tapusin ang case study ng batang yon. the night na ginawa ko na ang psychosocial and assessment ng bata, at natapos ako ng 2 am. As per routine ko, lagi kong pinapaalarm yong cellphone ko usually 6:00 am at 6:30am pero that day, hindi ako nagising. Seriously, ilang times na daw nag-alarm yong cellphone ko pero sa totoo lang, hindi ko talaga narinig which is most of the time nagugulat ako kahit isang tunog pa lang. pero that moment, wala as in wala talaga. Doon ko naprove yong super stress ko, yong pagiisip lang about don sa case niya. Ganon kastressful kaya kahit anong kain ko pa, wala pa ren I still feel tired.

It’s good thing now, I chose not to think of requirements kaya ako nakakapagblog. At I swear bukas ng gabi, it’s Saturday night, I will free myself muna siguro from school, from the center, usapang barkada, magiinoman kami kasi ramdam na namin na wala na kaming time sa isa’t isa, stress pa sa buhay practicum hahahaha 

It will be a long day pa ren tomorrow since we will be meeting our center psychologist for the psychological test evaluation of the kids and to plan the banner of PBO supporting the family day of these girls credit to mommy joy. And Thank you very much also to Mommy joy (clink this to see her blog) for sharing her blessings to the girls and for imparting her life and heart to individuals especially in crisis. Thanks mommy joy, God may shower you more blessings, good health to your family and abundance of grace to everyone you love.