Reality 5: Na-Interbyu ko si KRAS after 17 yrs. part 1.

Gusto ko lang paglaruan ang pic nito,
yan ang wala sa sariling pose ni kras.
nagpaalam naman akong magnakaw ng pic niya lol

Sino naka-alala ng first crush nong high school? May maganda ako experience dyan, nga-nga lang talaga ako noon! But it’s one of the best experienced I had, na-enjoy ko ang aking high school! Hahaha

At after 17 years ata, nakausap ko siya ngayon na walang kaba, hindi ako nanlalamig at natatanga ulit! Hahaha amfutek lang!! kumusta naman kaya yong mga panahon na ang nga-nga ako! Hindi ako makalapit kasi it feels so cold, hindi ko magalaw ang aking mga paa! Halah noh natatawa ako if I remember those days.

1^st year high school (new school)

I saw him na parang nag-slow motion ang mundo! Parang siya lang ang tao sa oras na yon, (naghahalucinate yata ako that moment?) oo, parang Daniel at katherina lang na nagtatakbohan sa bundok at ikot ng ikot ang camera hahaha tang-inah! Hindi ko alam! Pero in fairness ang gwapo naman niya, noon at hanggang ngayon kahit anong taba at belbel meron sa kanyang katawan ngayon, balbas na parang ermetanyo at higit sa lahat hindi niya alam ang salitang ligo kapag nakaharap sa camera pero parang hindi mawala ang lentek na kras-kras na yan! Bwahahaha

Naisipan kong interbyuhin si kras para ipost dito sa blog, natuwa lang ako sa idea na dati, halos hindi ko kayang kausapin ang taong to, para kasing titigil na ang mundo kapag andyan na siya ang OA ko lang talaga! Hahaha pero ngayon prends na prends na kami sa fb, bihira lang talaga magkausap pero earlier lang, ito nga nakausap ko at doon ko nalaman kung sino talaga siya!

Its so nice knowing him na iba pala ang akala ko dati kasi he is more than what I thought of, alam ko na yang sense of humor niya even before pero ang nakakagulat, ang totoo sa likod ng mga ngiti at halak-hak niya. (gumaganyan ang statement ko haha) masayang kausap, or I just find it masaya kasi kras ko siya? Halah! Hahaha hindi naman, sa edad kong to, hindi ko na ma-spell ang kras! Hahaha

This person helped me in some way to prove ang aking pagkababae! May ganyan! jowk! I mean, dahil nga boyish ako akala ng lahat natuloyan na ako naging bakla. Lol pero hindi, sa kanya nagsimula ang lahat ng gusto ko sa isang lalaki. Echos lang!! ideal man nga sabi ng kaibigan ko, pero hindi naman siguro kasi payat naman naging ex ko. Hahaha

Alam niyang kras na kras ko siya, hindi naman ako nahiya sabihin sa kanya din yan! Hahahaha kapal ko! Oo kasi naniniwala akong short lang ang ating buhay kaya mainam ng sabihin ang lahat para magaan ang pakiramdam at ma-enjoy ko naman ang aking buhay.

Isa lang ang masabi ko, hindi pa ito closing ng kwento nato dahil may kasunod pang kwento sa aking paglalakbay papunta kay kras. Ito ang totoo, iba ang kras sa taong mahal mo, or iniibig mo dahil ang kras sabi ng iba ang nagbibigay ng inspirasyon sayo, nagpapakintab ng ngipin, ngiti at mata sa araw-araw, ang iniibig ay ang taong dahilan kung bakit gusto mong gumising sa umaga. Ganyan! kumusta naman kaya kung isiksik ko ang aking sarili sa taong gusto ko at hindi ka naman gusto, o diba! Kasi may mga bagay na hindi pinipilit, kailangan mag-antay sa tamang panahon at oras. Bitter? Hahaha lol

Abangan ang interbyu…

P.S.

aabangan ko rin ang pag-uwi ni kras para magpapicture at papa-atograph lol

 

Pablo Pablito Pabling

I traveled 4 municipalities yesterday and that took me a day. itong si Pablo gave reasons to people to panic. Lels!! I congratulate all the disaster team for the preparedness because in our city and province walang casualties like we had with sendong. Now they are doing better than before, now people learned their lessons too.

It was a hell fun when I got the chance to travel in our municipalities. Yesterday was different in all the travels I had in the past. My officemate said I was like hitting two birds in one stone because I brought with me my closest friends from school to conduct an interview to solo parents in the municipalities. While I was doing my job delivering the relief goods, I accompany them to visit the local social welfare office to interview a focal person on solo parents. I did my job as an employee; I also did my homework as a student. Hahaha simpleng diskarte lang yan!! I have to do it wala akong choice I have been very busy with this Pablo. Naku! Hahaha

I just couldn’t take this out of my head when my boss called me that morning. Like he said – ok ibigay mo kay mayor yan and “magpakodak!” ka ha, (take picture with the mayor) hahaha i tried not to laugh while talking to my boss hahaha he could have said it like “magpapicture ka ha” tan-enay!! Hahaha my boss can’t still get out of his head that “Kodak” hahaha he is not old though.

While on our way, nakakatakot because we were in the military truck and going to the municipality where doon daw sila nagkaroon ng ambush! When the driver told me that, don’t you think hindi ka maparanoid? Hahaha and he even added that “military truck at may sakay na army, mainit sa mga mata ng mga npa yan!” nah!!! In my thoughts. I wonder what would be my face when that will happen, or what will I do in case may npa nga, at saan ako pupunta. Hahaha it’s really fun thinking about it!! Hahaha

No school today. Yes!!! Feast of Immaculate Conception! Oh yeah!! Now I love My RVM School. Hahaha

Time to change

i need to change everything in my blog from banner to the background. i just don't know how to do it. i hope there could be an angel who drops off in my blog and share his/her idea how to make one. i am also still waiting for my application in cdo bloggers, well its fun i think, i just need to be so busy in everything so i will not be able to attend too much on myself. i think it's time to work on the community and listen to what the society's need. 

try kumain ng ganito kalaki na pizza

Feeling ko isang buwan na akong nawala dito sa blogsphere dahil naging busy busyhan ang lola niyo!! Namiss ko rin ang chumismaks sa mga blog niyo kaya babawi ako bukas pagkagising ko. Sa ngayon ibabahagi ko muna ang pizza parteh na sinabi ko sa nauna kong post.

bertdey keyk

buo pa ang pizza haha

Dahil it’s a pizza parteh, so here is the biggest pizza we had tonight!! Plus a free 12 inches pizza free that cost us 1,360 php only, mura na compared to other places. We ordered THE GODFATHER (30 inches big) from big flat pizza and enjoyed the videoke while eating. For now, may amnesia ako sa DIET!! Hahaha this is good for 12 to 15 person’s pero hindi pa rin naming naubos kasi almost 50 slices, kahit mga barako yang kasama ko hindi pa rin naming kinayang ubosin!! We decided to have a pizza party as me and my best friend birthday treat to our social work classmates. Kahit late na ang celebration, we had fun still!!

malakas malusog matibay
ang pinagsamahan namin
all these years. 

ito ang ginawa naming birthday keyk!! lels!! it's more fun in the philippines talaga pag kasama mo ang mga kaibigan mong inasahan!! itong katabi kong kasing malusog ko rin we've been friends since high school days pa lang, mga almost 15 years na rin yong friendship namin and i am happy kasi nahila ko siyang mag-aral din ng korsong hindi namin maintindihan!! hahaha kebs!! enjoy life eka nga!! ilang birthdays na rin kami nagsalo kasi january 1 siya and ako is january 6 naman. all those years since naging kaibigan kami we both know and we will never forget each other's birthday.

Amnesia mode!! walang
diet muna haha

madami pang kwento behind this pizza parteh. bukas ikukwento ko naman ang nangyari after namin kumain at naisipang maglipstick ng sobrang pula, kami at ang mga kasama naming pinagdududahan na naming mga bekey. more pictures to come. 

kakayanin ang beer free this year

20 days to be exact na free beer ako!! Yeaaayy!! Alam ko na ang nasa isip niyo na isa akong lasiggera!! Hahaha hindi no! what I mean is once a week may leisure time kami after Saturday class kasi isipin naman 9am to 7pm ang clase ko straight! Kahit super stress na ako in a week, wala pa rin pinagbago malusog na malusog pa rin ako! Hahaha I’m working 5 days a week at may clase din ako sa social work ng 5:30 araw2x at whole day sa Saturday so I think kailangan ko ring mag-unwind and I deserve to relax or else goodbye mundo nako! LEL!

Ang pinagiisipan ko ng malalim ngayon ay ang pagpapayat ko! Haha natatawa ako kasi all those years gustohin ko mang pumayat hindi natutuloy dahil ang daming reasons sa mundo! Haha ngayon, ikarer ko na talaga since sinabi ko sa panata ko na kailangan beer free na ako para walang carbo masyado sa katawan at nagtitiis nalang ako ngayon sa pineapple juice! Letseh!! Hahaha kay hirap magpasexy lalo na kapag sinasalubong ka rin ng mga parteh at kung anong churvaluh na involve and pagkain at inuman. Basta ang alam ko totohanin ko ng beer free this year nako!!!

Masaya ang inuman!! Mamimiss ko ang pagiging gaga ko na pagnalasing, nawawala sa sarili, nagiging mother amazona, matapang at makapal na ang mukha, surely im going to miss na mapapagusapan ka dahil gumawa ka ng kalokohan dahil nalasing ka! Pag boypren mo naman ang kasama mo sa paglalasing, ibang usapan na yan!! Hahaha cheh!!

Ngayon I am excited sa pizza party naming this weekend, im sure patayan ng drinks ang show but no! no! no! na talaga ako sa inuman muna!! Hahaha manonood nalang ako sa malasing at kukuha ng pictures sa sino mang magmukhang mickey mouse!!

Para malaman ng lahat baka akala niyo eh super lasinggera na ako at hardcore na sa inuman it’s NO!! epal2x lang ang ginagawa ko!! Hehehe ilang rounds ng tagay lang nawawala na ako sa sarili ko, ang tinatago kong pagiging malandi ko  na hindi naman bagay sa akin! LOL!! Hahahaha

Kung kaya lang basahin ng tao ang lahat ng libro

I decided to change my new header. From emote2x churbabels to something I can relate to. Books? Ngee! Honestly I don’t read books, yong mga nobelang wala akong maintindihan, hindi ako love ng libro at hindi ko rin love ang libro!! Fair enough!! Hahaha even if I don’t read books, I am attracted to books, I do not know why, every time I search for a wallpaper for my desktop I always look into books, modern or an old one.

If I am going to assess myself (naging psychiatrist na ako ngayon! Haha) siguro books because there are a lot of stories behind my personality, like I have been telling lately that I am not a talky type of person noon, I seldom throw jokes or maybe I am not a humorous person pero a lot of people didn’t know that my mind so wide grin! Lels!! OO! At hindi bagay sa akin ang magjoke sa totoo lang!! hahaha kasi I always look so serious and matured whenever I talked pero magkasubokan nalang tayo! Hahaha hinahamon ko na sarili ko ngayon!! Hahaha

I chose that old books on the shelf kasi parang isang magnet talaga ang picture na yan sakin, maybe because behind that book there’s a lot of things to learn kagaya rin ng buhay ko, I have been into a lot of trials sa buhay ko, feeling ko nga ngayon ko lang nakita ang sarili ko, ngayon ko lang nabuksan ang libro ng buhay ko through this blog. Dumaan na nga ako sa depression na ngayon ko lang din naintindihan through my social work class, ichichika ko nalang sa inyo sa susunod kong entry what really happened sa depression kong iyon!! Hahaha mga chismoso at chismosa na kayo niyan!! LELS!!

Sa next na entry ko na ang chismis!! Kahit malapit na ako sa calendar kaya ko pa rin ang mambitin sa kahit anong pakiramdam pa man yan!! hahaha

If you just want to know what's my secret

I just remembered when I started to face my life after the death of my mother, I am trying to search my own soul, myself and I have been so bothered with a lot of things, there’s a lot in my mind but I couldn’t find a way to express it. I am known to a few close friend of mine that I am not a talky type person, I seldom talk about my emotions and feelings, I am afraid of giving comments because I don’t to hurt other people as much as possible.

I believed in the power of mind, kasi when I told myself that I need to break the silence, I need to express what I feel, what’s inside my heart and what I am thinking, it happened in just one click. Its TRUE that if you want it, you will have it. In the case I had, it was a week that I am emotionally unstable. After work and class I couldn’t help but cry or i always feel that anger in my heart. Since hindi ko na kaya, I decided to consult a social worker in our department to seek a professional help.

I talked to our program coordinator who is a social worker licensed. I was crying and crying, I am not satisfied sa ano man ang iniyak ko, she just let me cry everything, she gave me a room to let out all my anger, hatred and my hidden feelings that moment. Parang isang doctor lang din sya na binigyan ako ng resita, yong resita na hindi gamot but a resita na dapat kong panoorin baka sakali daw magbago ang perspective ko sa buhay.

I downloaded what she told me, I tried to watch it but sa simula pa lang nabored ako eh so I ignore it. Kebs lang ako!! In denial pa rin ako in everything to what I feel, I am starting to understand what is really going on sa sarili ko pero andon pa rin yong galit ko sa pagkawala ng mom ko dahil she died na puro pasakit ng mundo ang binigay sa kanya, okay lang kasi yong walang ibang taong involved pero dahil there are people caused her too much pain, yon ang mahirap tanggapin.

One Sunday we had a personal encounter activity sa social work class namin. We were given a chance to speak one by one our strength, weaknesses and threat sa dreams at buhay namin. So I speak for myself. I thought that’s the end. The following day I come to visit her for just a small talk, kala ko she forgot kung ano2x ang mga pinagsasabi ko pero alam pa rin niya and sobrang natinag ako to what she just told me that moment “tapos na yon!! Leave it behind, tapos na ang sa mama mo, siya yon at ikaw ang ngayon, gawin mo ang para sayo hindi para sa mama mo!!” yong halong may galit pa talaga. Wala akong masabi, parang nahiya ako na hindi ko maexplain ang feeling ko that moment. At dahil dun, yong resita na sabi ko na binigay niya, I tried to watch it, this time pinagtyagaan ko, then i have learned kung ano talaga ang gusto niya mangyari sa buhay ko and ito ako ngayon I can say I am better, I have moved on and accept those things na noon parang ang hirap2x at ang feeling ko everyday was I am always hurt. I also learned her secret in life through the resita she gave me it’s “the secret.”

You might want to watch it, baka makatulong din sa inyo. Ngayon, I am learning also to accept the law of attraction in our life. Life is a little better now kahit lagi pa rin akong confused sa mga ilang bagay!! Punyeteks!! hahaha

Behind resurgence blog

I have been blogging kung ano2x lately but I forgot to tell something kung ano nga ba ang ibig sabihin  ng resurgence, this means revival. Revival kasi  I could say now na I am ready to open everything what’s on my mind without any  hesitation or limitation, before I always have this apprehension of sharing my life because I am afraid to be judged or hindi ko lang talaga type magkwento ng kung ano2x sa buhay ko. Ngayon dahil mas naging makapal ang mukha ko kaya ikarir ko nato!! Lol

Resurgence kasi ito na ang bago kong buhay, I could say now that I have a new life in blogging, I have tried a lot of times noon magblog pero dahil feeling ko wala akong makwento kaya hindi natutuloy ang karir ko sa blog plus the fact that I am conscious with what I am going to tell the world but now wala ng conscious2x na yan, kung baga bahala na si superman sa akin ngayon!!

 

I have changed a lot I know, I always tell that to my closest friends that the person you knew in me before is not the person anymore now. Mas naging open minded ako when I started to study social work, it has a great influence in my life dahil ito ako ngayon nagsusulat, nagbblog, may lakas ng loob magsabi kung ano ang nangyayari sa buhay ko whereas noon as much as possible I want it everything in private, ngayon LADLARAN nato!! Hahaha open arms and open legs na kung baga!! Hahaha yes hello!! Go!! 

The very first morning of SENDONG

7:00 am – I woke up and prepare myself to go to school for a party for the children of Cala-cala, macasandig (totally wash out area) and Singapore, balulang. My mind was already set that we will have a party that Saturday morning.

I wasn’t able to sleep well that night because walang kuryente.

Around 8:00 am – I am on my way to school, as I pass along the Capistrano st. I have seen people walking na puro putik, ang iba naman nakaupo sa corner ng daan, magkasama ang buong pamilya. A part of the street going down (isla delta) makikita mo yong putik na hanggang tuhod, so I said to myself that moment na normal lang yon since lagi ko naman naririnig na nagkakaron ng baha in the area.

Pagkadating ko sa school mga 8:30 na ata yon, nakiramdam ako at lahat ng tao wala kang Makita na nakasmile, lahat parang nagpapanic. So I went to our department at ayon doon ko nalaman na may masamang nangyari sa city.

Mga 1 am pala non – I received a text from a classmate ang sabi niya “grabeh yong baha sa bridge” dahil hindi ako comfortable that night kasi nga walang kuryente, I just ignore his text.

Busy lahat ng tao sa school, syempre yong party definitely wala na dahil nga na-wash out yong area, ang party sana naming that morning eh yong mga bata na nakatira sa cala-cala. Dahil nasa social work program ako (I am studying social work currently) nagging busy kami with the immediate needs of the victims.

Mga 10:00 in the morning na siguro yon when I and my friends/classmates decided to look for a food kasi wala pa kaming kain (nag-expect kasi kami sa party), lahat tindahan around the school premises WALANG RICE, even Jollibee at that time near our school SARADO. Ikot kami ng ikot, nagtanong kami sa mga tindahan bakit naubosan ng rice, sabi nila most of the people ONLY BUY RICE at that time. I felt the scarcity of food and water din that morning at lahat ng tindahan laging may nakapila, unusual yong ganon sa ordinary days lang.

Mafefeel mo talaga yong gutom ng mga tao, uhaw sa tubig at yong grief nila over to their loved ones na nawala at missing pa yong iba. Yong oras parang ang bilis-bilis at that time, lahat naghahanap saan na yong mga kapamilya nila, kamag-anak, sa piling daan may Makita kang patay na tinakpan lang ng kumot nag-aantay ng kamag-anak para kunin. It was the worst, sad morning I felt in my whole life.

i don't own this pic. i just got this from google.

I don’t know how to react, how I can help the victims, how can I comfort them either. In the afternoon, ng magbukas na ang Jollibee, we hurried and charged our cellphones for communication. Kahit Jollibee naubusan din ng pagkain, basta ang natandaan ko lang na natira sa kanila that time is yong spaghetti at kahit water ubos na ren.

Late in the afternoon, almost mag-gabi na we went to west city central to delivered food for the victims (yong luto na talaga ready to eat na) and after sumama kami sa cosmopolitan funeral homes kasi yong kasama namin (isang madre) may dinalaw sa funeral home at doon nakita ko ang mga pamilya na naka-abang dahil nawawala yong kamag-anak nila at nagbabakasakali na Makita man lang nila yong bangkay.

It was a long day for me. Actually in between madami pa akong hindi naikwento, isusunod ko nalang. The whole night, hindi ako nakatulog. Sa totoo lang, I was really bothered kahit sino naman siguro. Wala man akong kamag-anak na nagging victim sa sendong pero as a citizen, I couldn’t imagine how they survived that catastrophe. Paulit-ulit nasa utak ko “what if sa akin or sa amin nangyari yon” ano kaya ang gagawin ko, mabubuhay pa kaya ako? (sad)

Utak kutsilyo

As I have promised myself na maging mabait na ako for this year, so one of the things I wanted to fulfill is that ma-complete ko na ang 12 months this year sa pagbablog. Hindi ako masipag, totoo yan! Hahaha pero magpapakasipag ako sa taon nato para na rin sa kinabukasan ko (kung meron man akong kinabukasan sa pagblog!! Hahaha)

I thought last year masipag na ako noon kasi naipagpatuloy ko ang pagblog, ang daming thoughts at ideas nasa utak ko yong utak ko lang ayaw gumana!! Hahaha kahit anong kain pa ng mga brain enhancer na yan, wa epek pa rin!! (futah!) kinakalawang na utak ko ata kaya for now gagawin kong malaking knife ang brain ko kasi the more you sharpen things mas gagana nga naman ito! Sige go!

I am totally confused kung ano nga ba ang blog ko about kasi ang dami kong gusto mangyari sa blog ko kaso kahit ako gulong-gulo din. Kebs nalang! Blog ko naman to kaya walang makikialam sa mga pinagsasabi ko dito!! Hahaha sa mga naunang blog ko, uber drama ang dating dahil na rin yon sa mga emotions kong uber na hindi ko macontrol at I still also have a lot of issues in the past na nabuksan ngayon that’s why buhos ang emosyon ko na parang hindi naman ako at hindi ko personality ang maging ganon pero dahil ako ay isang tao lamang kaya tanggapin niyo nalang din ako sa ayaw at gusto niyo!! Hahaha

Wala ng ka-sense2x ang sulat ko pero pag sharp na sharp na ang utak ko aarangkada ako ulet at maibahagi ko ang buhay ko na sana’y may matutunan ang bawat tao sa kanyang paglalakbay sa buhay na kasama ako. LOL go!!

Another blog chapter begins

It’s been almost three months since the last time I updated my blog. There are actually a lot of thoughts that runs through my mind along those months of being silent here, only that I just couldn’t force myself to blog on it, I just need a little inspiration to do that, aside from being busy from work and school, there are also personal issues that I need to attend it first before anything else. I missed blogging.

As I have promised myself for this 2012, I will make it sure that this time I will complete the 12 months of the year with full of updates in my life – personal or not. This is also a thing that I need to do in order for me to reflect on the lessons I’ve learned along my journey in life.

I supposed to write an update about my birthday yesterday but as I have said, I need an inspiration to push me to blog the important events of my life. I have been sick for almost 9 days so partly I am losing my willingness to do things I wanted to do. Now I am getting better and I can finally manage to think, smile and eat well.

So, another blog chapter begins!!