Court trial experience

I just don’t know how to start and end this. Just read at your own risk. Rooootttss!! Hahaha I feel so stressed, really. I mean just for today. I don’t understand what I feel when I entered the hall of justice of Malaybalay Bukidnon. One of our clients went on trial today and OMG! As in OMG! Kanina lang ulit ako kinabahan ng todo, yong kaba na halos matatae kana, hindi ka makakain or makakainom ng tubig at parang may hangin sa tyan mo na it’s definitely hindi ko madescribe yong feeling. 

Well para akong tanga when I entered the court room, huling huli kasi akong pumasok kaya wala akong maupoan sa likod so I have no choice but doon ako sa gitna and yong nasa gilid ko (right side) mga almost 10 detainees. So like okay, they are still human kahit they committed murder, sell drugs at yong rape na case. Hindi ko kilala yong perpetrator ng client, hindi ko rin namukhaan kasi it’s our first time to attend her court hearing kasi trial na nga. 

Nong tinawag na sya, pinapapasok yong client namin and mas doon ang kaba ko dahil when she entered the court room together with my co-interns, shets lang yong dalawang tao na nasa right ko as in the nearest two, yong isa don was the perpetrator. Paking tape diba! And like they were talking “ohh! (name inserted) and the other said that “siya si ____” oh the hell silang dalawa diba dahil same sila ng kaso kaya pinaguusapan nila ang mga kagaguhan nila futangs ina nila! Lol I am not mad really. Not really! Hahahaha

So now nong tinawag na ang name nong perpetrator syempre, dumaan yong perpetrator sa likod namin, so like the feeling was paking tape parang yong mga intestine at liver ko eh napunta na sa heart ko sa sobrang kaba ko for I don’t know the reason. Hahaha and nong natapos ng pumunta ang perpetrator sa harap, ulit bumalik sya at dumaan sa likod and guess what diba he tried to talk to our client like “ate, ate…” (yon tawag niya kasi eldest kasi yong client pero stepdaughter lang naman niya yong client namin) so now yong dalawa kong kasamang interns niyakap yong client namin and hindi pinatingin at I don’t know nagfefeeling bouncer lang ako naman hahaha hinarang ko sya and told him “NO” with the kamay action harang. Roooottts! Hahaha yon ang nangyari sa loob ng court.

Now sa labas ng court, humingi ng 5 minute recess yong fiscal (lawyer ng client namin) para kausapin yong client namin. (our client was known na for ilang attempts magtrial – laging umiiyak kasi sa sobrang kaba at natatakot siyang magkamali ng statement sa mga gulat factor ng defense lawyer) SO, yong lawyer pumunta sa labas and biglang nagalit at sinabihan yong client namin na “wag kang magddrama dyan, kung gusto mo ng justice” (sa isip ko – saksakin ko kaya to!) and hindi pa siya nakontento siguro sinabihan niya ako (kasi nakatayo pa ako sa harap ng client) “SINO NAMAN KAYO!?” (hahahaha pakyu!) then our center social worker sabi “they are social work interns” then she replied like “AWWW… because NAKAKA-INTIMIDATE KAYO!” (at saan banda?! Roootts) sabi nong kasama kong intern, baka kasi dahil sa nangyari sa loob ng court room na hinarang namin yong perpetrator hahaha futeks kasi kami lang nasa loob that time dahil yong social worker mismo kasi wanted us to learn and experience kung ano ang meron talaga sa loob.

All in all, they wanted to lower the sentence yon ang hiling nila, in fact nilapitan pa kami nong nanay ng perpetrator and again dahil epal ako, after a few minutes na pakiusap sa client namin inakbayan ko si nanay at told her na “ok na nay, you’ve heard the minor’s decision” (our client decided not to lower the sentence and she will continue the trial kasi andun na sya, madami na rin daw nangyari so ipagpapatuloy na niya, walang atrasan) pinaalis ko si nanay kasi ayoko na dagdagan yong hirap ng client namin, hindi madali yong pinagdadaanan niya talaga and I feel that. sobrang kaba ko na nga how much more sya, na sya yong magsasabi sa harap ng judge kung ano talaga ang nangyari.

Almost na sana yon na hindi nalang magttrrial kasi pumayag na kami sa offer ng kabila na 10 years to 17 years and 6 months to 6 years na sentence kasi dalawa yong case na-file against the perpetrator. 

Pero I think the judge mismo hindi pumayag so wala kaming nagawa but to present our client sa court, as in siya na magsalita sa harap ng kanyang perpetrator. Para akong nanood ng movie, para din naulit ang lahat ng nangyari sa bata na kung SANA IF PWEDE lang wag na sana pagusapan pa doon or ulitin kasi yong trauma uulit na naman. Pero kailangan gawin ng bata para matapos na ang sinimulan niya. Like we always told her “kailangan mong tumawid dito para sa future mo” matalino kasi yong client namin, interesado mag-aral at makikita mo sa kanya yong determination niyang gusto niya magcollege kaso hindi niya alam saan siya titira at sino magpapaaral sa kanya dahil wala na siyang uuwian. Yong mother niya hindi pumanig sa kanya even the relatives. 

Anyways, thankful lang talaga kami today na nasurpass ng client namin yon trial niya at natapos rin after ilang attempts. Hindi pa namin ano ang decision dahil I think kailangan pa ng proof pa. stressful talaga sya, swear hehehe while she’s on trial halos hindi kami makagalaw sa kaba, hawak kamay nalang kami ng mga co-interns ko just to stretch and gained strength sa isa’t isa. It took almost an hour na question and answer and ramdam namin talaga ang hirap ng bata at kahit yong mga pangyayari parang nauulit na naman pero like i told her again na “this is your turning point, and after this, everything will be in placed” kasi we all know talaga we have our own turning points, trials in life and because of that mas naging matatag tayo at handa harapin ano man ang darating.

SO.. everything happens for a reason. I thanked God for all the strength he gave us today, it is indeed a long day pero kahit papano na-relieve kami. And what we are facing this week is our end of practicum sa center. We will be assigned sa community na this 2^nd semester. So again, goodluck to bags of luha. Hehehe 

4 Nights and 5 Days

Lemeeee begin with a simple twerking dance. Charrooottss hahaha wooootttt… pap-parap-pap-pap!!!

How i started my stay.

YES!!! Yes because I spent 4 nights and 5 days sa isang branch ng center namin na nag-sheshelter ng mga batang survivor ng sexually abuse (we term it survivor dahil strength based tayo this time, that is according to unicef) 

Yes dahil patapos na ang aking practicum and I had the opportunity na pumunta sa Malaybalay, Bukidnon dahil ang 5^th case ko is doon sya nashelter kaya I need to stay so I can conduct sessions and study sa bata. Sa 3 months na I spent my days sa main center, talagang na-compressed ko in 5 days doon, kulang na kulang yong oras talaga but yon lang kasi ang oras na pwedi sakin because may subjects pa akong naiwan pero kung wala malamang 4 months magrequest akong don ako titira hahaha

Anyways, nakakastress man dahil yong case ko

This is my 2nd day. Bonding time in the pineapple plantation.

is medyo different from the usual case I had such as yong sibling and incest case. Ito is quite different dahil sabi ng social worker sa center (supervisor ko), kailangan ko i-dig ang kaso ng bata then she said “this is your 5^th case, this must be a tough one so it fits for you” naahh!! When I read it, boom!! Yes it’s different talaga kasi the incident happened 2 years ago, that is according to the child but there’s more than that when I discovered it nong nagpapamedico legal na kami. Isipin mong 3 hours kami sa women’s desk. Iyak dito, iyak doon, hawak sa upuan sabay pasok ung ulo don sa ilalim ng upuan. Ayaw niya magpapamedico legal. We respect that of course but if walang medico legal kasi walang case na mafifile so maiwang Malaya yong taong nag-aabuse nong bata. 

School visit. We fetched them also after our appointment.

The child is responsive sa mga tanong ng doctor pero once magsstart na yong papahiga na sya biglang nalulugmok na naman sya and started to cry out loud and telling us that “ayoko, ayoko because ang dami ng nakakakita nakakahiya na” okay, again we respect that and everybody decided to leave the room pero wala pa ren its almost 5:30 in the afternoon and we failed na mapamedico legal yong bata.

kids loves picture taking. sorry i covered their face bawal kasi.

Pero after 3 days I think, na convince rin namin siya for medico legal and this time we’re hoping na it’s real na talaga. Tinupad naman niya pero half lang ang nakita kasi yong other half eh hindi pwedi mahawakan or ma-open lalo kasi daw super sakit. Sabi ng doctor, hindi nalang ipilit total kahit incomplete daw eh positive naman daw yong bata na na-abuse at pwedi na daw magfile ng case. But then, yong discovery ko about the kid mas lumalim ng lumalim kaya sabi ko talaga sa social worker naming sa center na puntahan ko sya sa bukidnon so I can spend time with her and maintindihan ko yong running case niya. Pero nalaman ko din na hindi na-file yong case dahil minor yong lalaki (CICL) naakkk!! Naman!! Pwedi bang ibalik ang death penalty!? So ano ito? Aantayin yong lalaki na darating sa tamang edad saka i-aarrest? But the minor (abuser) will go to a diversion program ata something basta ang alam ko now, walang case na na-file, so ibig sabihin non pagala-gala pa rin yong lalaki. 

This what i do after our appointment in the city. Stress reliever.

Staying sa center for 4 nights and 5 days, ang dami kong natutunan sa mga bata. I was also amazed doon sa time we spent na nag-gather kami ng mga woods at twigs, we all have our small talks, sabi nila they used to gather woods and sell it as well as they know pano mapa-amo yong cow at carabao pero natuwa talaga ako don sa part na pauwi na kami at yong isang bata kumuha ng itak with all the feelings na tinadtad yong katawan ng gemilina tree and sabi nong isang bata “HOY! Bakit mo yan tinadtad!” ang sagot ng bata “kasi sinugatan niya yong paa ko!” hahaha yong kasama kong intern napaupo kakatawa kasi naisip pa yon ng bata lol well it was really fun to be with them kaso kulang talaga sa time, we’re just looking forward to see them all here sa cdo sa upcoming family day ng mga bata where their family and social workers will come to visit and spend time with them. 

So back with my case again, ibang iba siya sa center sa panahon na magkasama kami sa hospital dahil mas nakita ko yong pagiging makulit niya at maingay sa lahat ng bagay, magaling din siyang kumanta at sumayaw. Sabi ko nga sa kanya na sa last night naming sumayaw siya, sinagot niya ako “wala akong damit, wala akong bracelets at hanky” part kasi siya ng indigenous group kaya ganon nalang, specific siya. Hahaha 

A time to gather woods and twigs for bone fire.

So much for that, madami man paperworks sa center, dami ko man iniisip, all the pictures na makikita niyo is yon ang time we tried to compressed it maspend sa mga bata. We also went to their school para Makita kung ano ba sila kapag nasa skwelahan, they are really proud and sikat na sikat sila sa school nila dahil at that time we brought a camera with us so we took pictures and everybody is looking at them. Doon naman sa pinya plantation, marunong na marunong silang mag-identify ng matamis na pinya they also taught me how to get a pinya, yong kailangan mo pang ikotin yong buong pinya para makuha mo sya don sa crown niya. At ang best part sa stay namin is yong family night namin na gumawa ako ng “bannock” na i-wwrap sa hotdog. They’re only seven sa center ng bukidnon kaya na-afford namin ng co-intern kong sagotin ang hotdog at bannock hahahaha hindi kasi naming carry sa main center dahil there are 20 of them. So yon ang adventure ko sa Malaybalay Bukidnon sa 4 nights and 5 days. And oo nga pala, paguwi ko, lagnat inabot ko dahil sa weather doon, isipin mo nalang yong cold water na iniinom natin galing ng fridge natin yon lang ang normal na lamig ng tubig kapag naliligo ka. Hahaha halos hindi nga ako nakakainom ng water don most of the time I had 4 cups of coffee a day. wooott!! Hahahaha 

This the finale. Last night in the center.

So ito lang muna, I will be very busy in the next 2 to 3 weeks kasi I have deadline ng october 12 at family day ng october 11 so still we’re looking for benefactors to help us build a study area for the girls in the center so they will start to build their dreams too and believe that there will always a dream waiting for them. You and I can be a part of the child’s dream. God bless everyone!! Happy blogging. Woootttt!!! Pakkk-parak-pak!! Hehehehe 

Telepay it forward

woooootttt paaakkk parraaakkkkk paaaakkkkk... hehehehe HINDI ito NAPOLES hahaha nadadamay ang ibang NGO na tunay at tapat sa kanilang mission dahil lang sa Napoles na yan. Sorry with the too much judgment about that Napoles thing... hehehe takip na ang aking bibig dyan. charmos ginamosh hahaha

ang alam ko at sigurado akong hindi ito kasama sa napoles trend na yan dahil never sila lumapit sa mga politician dahil isa lang ang alam ko, they're afraid na lalagyan ng tao ng politician ang mission nila at isa pa eh walang halong politika ang kanilang mission sa pagtulong sa mga batang namulat sa katotohanan sa buhay.

This is our personal letter ng kasama kong intern sa center... i hope this is not against the rules and regulations sa blog. hehehe

 Hello ate and kuya

As you may know we are on our first semester as Social Work Interns. Since June, we have been given an opportunity to share our time and effort in helping the girls at the Nehemiah House. Some of you may not be aware of neither the center's existence nor its function, let me go ahead and tell you a bit about it...

The Youth with a Mission (YWAM) Nehemiah House Inc. is a 24 hour residential care facility registered, licensed and accredited by the Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD), which caters to females, aged 8-17 years old, who are victims of sexual abuse, maltreatment, abandonment and child trafficking. It has been operating for over 13 years and has changed the lives of hundred of girls in crisis.

 The girls are kept in the center for safekeeping and interventions like education, counseling and assistance on legal matters; as well as social and spiritual development. Yes, they are away from their families but this is only a temporary situation - only until justice has been served or a safer environment for the child has been established.

This OCTOBER 11, 2013 we are conducting a Family Day for these girls. This is a once a year activity aimed to reconnect and bond the girls with their family. Some of these kids have not seen their loved ones in years.

Emotional and moral support from their families are usually done through telephone conversations or through letters. This time, we are opening a moment to let these kids feel the love through hugs and kisses, or even just a smile or reassurance from their family members.

A fund raising program is also initiated for a construction of a study area for the girls as they journey through their academic dreams. Help us mend the lives of these girls. Each one has a story to tell- all have wounds needed to be healed. Let us do what we can to make their lives brighter.

Be one of the chosen few who are willing to make this activity a success and create a life changing event for these kids. You can participate by helping out through cash or in kind. Feel free to ask me questions and I'd be more than happy to answer them for you. All we are asking is for you to pay it forward.

Best regards

Reality 8: Ang painting ni Jessica at interpretasyon

Ang dami kong namiss sa life ko!

It was Tuesday dumating ang pinadala na painting ni Jessica, (hongsweet ni jessica) Wednesday ko na nadala dahil sa lagnat kong yon, hindi ako nakapagwork. Tambay higa pahinga sa bahay para hindi mag-50/50 ang buhay. I am grateful that despite sa busy kong life, I still have friends I know pag-uwi ko na dyan lang sila behind the monitor lol cover lang? hindi ko pa man nakitang personal ang mga taong mahilig tumambay sa social network sites, parang ang tagal ko na rin silang kilala, paano nababasa ang kanilang kwento sa kanilang sariling blogsite, oh diba, always part tayo sa buhay ng isang tao kapag nagbasa tayo sa kanilang buhay. Echos!

Dahil labadami labango ako kaniinang umaga, ngayon lang ako makapag-update at ma-ipost itong painting na pinadala ni Jessica. Super touch ako dahil pinaghirapan niya gumawa nito kahit sa mga pinagdadaanan niya sa buhay and as I have promised I’ll give my personal interpretation sa drawing niya. This is just only based sa common theory at experience ko in regards to social psych rin, (nababasa at na-aapply slight)

Madalas sinasabi ng iba na theory lang ang pag-interpret ng mga bagay2x lalo na kapag sa guhit at sa painting pero lalabas ba ang theory kung wala silang pinagkukunan nito? Depende siguro. Sa isang institution ng mga bata, pag-guhit ang madalas na ginagawang activity sa kanila para maintindihan sila especially yong mga bata na hindi nagsasalita, nagddrawing, nagkukulay at base sa output nila, doon babasahin kung ano ang gusto nilang ipahiwatig.

Totoo yon kasi may isang bata nga na ayaw magsalita, laging tulala pero kapag binigyan mo ito ng papel, Crayola at lapis nagreresponse siya at alam niyo ano ang ginuhit ng bata? Isang bata at may isang malaking lalaki na may balbas, malapit lang ang isang bata at ang lalaki at doon nalaman ano ang nangyari sa kanya dahil may nakalagay na maliit lang na line doon banda sa ari ng lalaki, meaning ginalaw ang batang ito. Nag-in depth investigation at doon nga naconfirm na may nangyari ngang hindi Maganda.

Ito naman kay Jessica na painting, a combination of yellow, red, black and orange, napaka intense ng energy niya, madami siyang iniisip siguro sa mga panahon na ginawa niya itong painting, minsan kasi hindi natin napapansin pero subconscious natin ang nagtutulak gawin ang isang bagay. Ang kapal ng pagkapinta ni Jessica sa black at red orange,  parang ang init ng dating sa akin, may gusto siyang gawin or kunin pero hindi niya ito alam papano, saan magsisimula at paano magsisimula, gustong mapag-isa malayo sa madaming tao, ang isang tree, ito ay pwedi nating maging comfort kapag tayo ay nalulungkot, ang hangin na binibigay ng puno ay parang nakakarelax ito, nakakaalis ng stress at nakakatulong ito linawin ang ating isip especially kapag may mga decision tayo sa buhay ng kailangan natin panindigan, kaso ang tree ni Jessica ay maitim, isa lang ang nasa isip ko, naghahanap siya ng matatakbuhan.

Black- gustong mapag isa, sa isang kwarto kapag kulay itim lumiliit ito, kahit gano kalaki ang kwarto. May pagkamysteryosa itong Jessica hahaha she is conservative, sophisticated and she wants to find comfort. Melancholic ang kanyang approach sa painting.

Yellow – makulay ang buhay ni Jessica, yellow represents happiness, positive outlook sa buhay, nagbibigay siya ng liwanag sa ibang tao, nagiging strength siya sa iba kagaya yan ng isang sun nagbibigay liwanag sa atin. Definitely, creative si Jessica, gusto ng challenge na Gawain, and this yellow represents more of the brain rather than a heart.

Red – hyper si Jessica hahaha, confident definitely, strong at may pinaglalaban talaga puno ng pagmamahal ang batang ito at gustong magbigay ng pagmamahal sa ibang tao lalo na doon sa walang wala. 

To combine them all, super intense talaga ang painting, high ang energy level, ang lalim, may pinaghuhugotan, may pinagdadaanan, may gustong sabihin at kumukulo na ito sa kanyang isipan hindi na mahintay na ipahiwatig. lol hehehe 

Ang subconscious pala natin ang pinakamadaling example na kaya kong ibigay ay itong mga lalaking nambubugbog ng asawa, oo diba nageexist pa yan sila, kung tatanonin sila kung ang tatay ba nila ay binubugbog ang kanilang nanay, 7 out 10, oo ang sagot. Kahit hindi nila gusto gawin ang bagay na yan pero yan ang kinalakihan nila, lalabas at lalabas talaga yan. Nasa likod ng isip nila at nakikita nila yon habang sila ay lumalaki na normal lang ang pangbubogbog kaya ito ay ginagawa nila din sa kanilang mga asawa. Kung ang babae na nambubogbog ng lalaki, well baka may dahilan yan kung bakit!! Hahahaha jowk! Hehe

Maraming thank you kay jessica for sending this painting with message sa likod, ipapaframe ko ito. hehehe ito ang unang painting nareceived ko sa isang kaibigan na natagpuan sa social network sites hehehehe ito ay gawin kong inspirasyon para mas lalo ko pang pangarapin ang maging doctor sa pagtulong intindihin ang sarili (para naman as if naintindihan ko ang aking sarili! bwahahaha). char!! echos!! at patuloy pa rin ang aking supporta sa passion mo at walang duda na naniniwala ako sa iyong kakayahan na malayo ang mararating mo jes!!! thanks ng marami ulit. muah! 

Syah, ito na muna ngayon kasi maglilinis ulit na ako. Lol

 

Reality 7: I'll be there one day.

I accepted the fact that you are not here with me anymore, you can’t rant over the things I badly made, and I truly missed it. you let me go, and I did too, this is because I don’t want you to suffer more, so you won’t be in pain anymore. You let me decide on my own now, you cut my wings, and you cut me all. I didn't know how to live after you left, after you decided to let go of the things you used to have here with me. I know that there are situations we can’t even control. I also know I have been stubborn all the time but I learned. It wasn't all easy moving on knowing that you are the greatest strength that I have all my life, what I am now it is all because of you.

I feel that pain every day, the more they say how good you were, it breaks me, I always remember how we have suffered, how we fought our lives together and I left all alone now standing, moving forward and hoping for a new tomorrow. Whatever battle I have now, I am doing this for you, I am bringing back what we've lost. I will be there one day. I silently want to be more than what they think I can.

I know you’re still here with me, you’re still guiding me and you want to give me the life I deserve. You are still the reason I lived up to my dreams and survived up with some expectations. It may never be the same again but I am trying to live on what has been left in me. I am still pushing this dream.

One day, I will fly for free as you always told me, “the more you travel, the more you get smarter.” Someday, I will wake up in a hurry to catch up some flight for work, wearing my best corporate attire, when I arrived at my destination, somebody will open my car, a car that has a Philippine flag in front, shaking hands to dignitaries, talking to my own secretary for schedules, I will be standing in front to many, making a difference to individual, promoting new programs and services to improve the lives of the people.  Travelling abroad as well to give honor to our OFW's, attend to certain needs and problems, I will be a motivator in my own circle, family, friends and relatives. I will speak for our country someday. From the law of attraction, these are possible if I keep on thinking about this, if I attract this to happen, this will happen and I will make this to happen. 5 years from now I will go back and read this again.

All these dreams have been made because of my late mother who is pushing me even I was still a kid that I can do more than what she did. I miss you mommy! And you will always be an inspiration in getting these dreams. I’ll be there one day! I promise. =)