Just no surprises

Happy New Year!! Yan ang unang bati ko sa inyong lahat!! Chos! Hehe kembot kembot ikot ikot hanggang mahilo lang! hahaha

Hmmm… I still have something to write about my year end break outside the city pero I cannot compose it yet dahil bangag pa ako sa usok at sa pagkain na nilamon ko these past few days and yes lamon ng lamon lang kasi feeling ko last na last na talaga ang mga yon! Hahaha syet! Kailangan now hard diet! Charot!!

As I look into my blog, on the right side sa may countdown ng birthday, I saw 3 days left more to go and boom! Nanginginig ako at kinakabahan and I just couldn’t explain it why. Nah! I love making surprises to people I care and love about but ayaw na ayaw ko yong ako ang nasusurprise personally dahil I just don’t like the feeling of I don’t know saan ko pupulotin yong puso ko, yong kaba ko na parang nauutot lang ako ng bongga. Hahaha syet lang kasi! Or maybe I just could not control the emotions I have inside whenever I feel surprised, mahirap ako makapagmove on sa bagay na yon hahaha so if ever, wag na kayong magisip ng surprise kasi dahil because hahaha ayoko sa feeling na yon! Hahaha

Last 2014, month of January, hindi ganon kaganda ang pagbukas ng taon sa akin, I do have a lot of trials encountered & the best din naman nangyari sa part na yon is where I learned to surrender myself to God and I can say that I was home by then. it was tough. Really. I made it through those storms & I’m proud of it.

Today, 2015, it’s a good one, maganda ang pasok ng taon even before 2015 strikes. There’s a lot more na pagdadaanan ko, mas matindi mas mahirap but I am excited to take the challenge whatever it is coz one thing I know that will help me to shape myself. I am totally ready for that!

I wanted to say thank you to the people who never left me during my rainy days nong 2014, I’ve come to see true friends and people around who truly care and love you the least you expect it. It’s a one hell ride back there but I made it because for all you know I got my strength in you, I even learn to trust despite of betrayal. I thanked you Atty. slash Archt. Grace B., Feunah, Imee Jane, Hadasah, Renato & Juan for being part of my 2014 & brighten me up during my darkest hours. Chos! Hehehehe of course my blogger friends who never failed to share their life across, Thank you guys! 

So this is it let me enjoy this year 2015, more travels hopefully and the most important I am looking forward this year is I am going to serve my profession.

Tele-GoodByernes-Emote

Telelalalalala gandang hapon

Tele-good-Friday

No claps, no dance and split for the intro of this post since it’s good Friday. (bait ako now, this moment hehe)

Dami ko pang sinabi eh mag-eemote lang din ako naman jowk

Nooooo… I am trying not to. Char!!

Dahil lang ito sa MUSIC ROOM ng mga bloggero authored by RIX

Ito ang resulta ng good Friday afternoon ko…

Dahil sa mga kanta na nasa music room, naisip ko ulit yong kanta na matagal ko ng iniwasan dahil sa pagbubuwis ko ng buhay non charing! Hindi ako tinatablan ng blade lang, kahit kutsilyo walang sinabi. CHAIN SAW malamang walang ligtas aking kamay doon lels.

Seryos na ako…

Itong kanta na ito…

If u read between lines you will know what message I am telling you…

Hands up ako, wala akong alam. (seryos yan)

For all you know, ngayon ko lang ito i-reveal roottss. Behind all those smiles and laughter na meron ako, ito ay dahil sumugal ako sa buhay minsan, nadapa ako, at natuto, naging tanga at nabulag (dilat na ang aking mata ngayon promise lol) and that helped me to be a happy person now. This is what i always tell to those people na nalulungkot "sadness will lead you to new happiness" yan lang ang nangyari sakin. lel.

That song, yan ang kwento ng buhay pag-ibig ko minsan (malaking charing!) oo may pag-ibig din ako naman! (i'm counting joke!) Hahaha pero like I said HANDS UP AKO, I’m innocent. (pls I’m so innocent don’t kill me hahaha)

Want to know? Now na? later nalang kaya? Hahaha

Sige na nga. You may judge me or not but it’s up to you. I just want to disclose this to let go of those things behind my smiles and laughter. I don’t want to pretend anymore that I have a great life once in love. I want you to learn too what I have learned in life the same. I am aware with what’s right or wrong yet i never get a word from myself. But it was one of the best decision I made to let it go of that suicidal love (may suicidal love talagang term hahaha), honestly, I fought my feelings, I fought myself, my heart and my brain. It was hard, very hard that I almost lost myself in the process of healing (roootttss  may ganyang drama hahaha) and I won after all.

Maniwala kayo or hindi, he was once a blogger and never a single moment I thought of seeing him personally after all knowing the situation. He tried to reach me, he tried to stand in the airport for how many hours but I was tough enough with my decision not to, though I am really dying inside, its killing me seeing him far away from me (kantang kanta lang ang linya ko hahaha) but I need to hold on what is really right for me, my future and his. Kinaya ko though i broke down. (luhod at sinabing kailangan ko ng himala haha)

This is just one of the reason why i left blogging for a while. hihihi 

Separately, may real love life talaga ako bago ko siya nakilala and even after him (just same person lang naman). hahaha lol 

Love isn’t love after all…

Thanks paparix (papa-usohin para maging official side kick ni papa jack haha) of music room, this gave me a room to open a small box in my life. I felt so free and happy now. so, pwedi na akong mag-artista? hahahaha