Reality 12: Masaya ang PBO

Dumating na nga si amang hari at ang anak ng hari sa republika ng pilipinas, yong saya ko hindi maitatago, naging maingay ako sa twitter dahil gusto kong abangan ang kanilang pagtouch down sa pilipinas. Ngayon ko lang ulit naramdaman ang pakiramdam na ito galing naman sa mga kaibigan sa blogspero, huli kong naramdaman ang excitement noong isang taon pa mula naman iyon sa taong minamahal ko. Rawwrr.

What you see is what you get in me, mula nong nabago ang buhay ko naging totoo ako sa sarili ko, naging open sa ano ang meron ako at wala man. Hindi maitago ang sayang iyon na dumating na sila dahil nasa isip ko finally makikita ko na sila ng personal hindi yong nasa likod ng isang blog or computer lang sila, mapipisil ko na, mabiro ng totoo, mabigyan ng squeeze hug bawat blogger na Makita ko sa meet up kaso hindi ko rin maitago ang lungkot na nararamdaman ko ngayon dahil just earlier naconfirm ko na hindi na pala ako makakapunta sa manila ngayon February 15, 2013 sa meet up ng mga pboers. Ang last hope ko kasing eroplano na airphil, tumaas na rin ang pamasahe, hindi na kinaya ng aking bulsa dulot sa midterm exams ngayong week na ito at wala akong mahugot na pera sa ngayon dahilan na rin sa dami ng babayarin.

Lagpas langit ang kagustohan kong pumunta para Makita ko sila isa’t isa at gumawa ng memories na pwedi kong balikan kahit saan man ako mapunta sa buhay ko. Naiiyak ako na hindi ko rin maexplain ang pakiramdam na ito dahil nabigo naman ako sa aking expectation, lagi ko pa naman sinasabing kapag iniisip ko na makakapunta ako at maabot ko yan, nangyayari dahil sa law of attraction na yan pero ngayon sinusubukan ako ng panahon at pagkakataon. Ramdam na ramdam ko ang kasiyahan ng mga bloggers na sa wakas magkikitakita na sila after ilang buwan na nakikipagkulitan sa mga comment sa blog at sa twitter.

Oo bothered talaga ako ngayon dahil nalungkot ako hindi ko naman maitatago ang pakiramdam na iyan, ayokong magpretend sa emotion ko ngayon, ayoko rin magpretend na meron ako na wala naman dyan. Parang hanggang pangarap lang na makasama ko ang mga bloggers at pboers sa araw ng kanilang meet up sa February 15. Una ko sanang pagkakataon na makasama ang mga taong nagbigay saya sa akin for the past months na sobrang down ako sa buhay ko, yong mga kakulitan ko na hindi matapos tapos hanggang hindi napapagod kakadaldal. Natagpuan ko ang isang kaligayan sa pagbblog na nakita ko na may mga tao pa lang totoo kahit nasa social network site kayo nagkakakilala kaysa nasa harap mo araw-araw, dito ko naramdaman na bawat problema ay may solution may mga tao na nagpapangiti sayo despite of what you’ve been going through personally sa buhay mo.

Hanggang dito nalang muna, malungkot man ako ngayon pero makakarecover din ako. Sana maging masaya at makabulohan ang mga meet ups ninyo aking mga kaibigan sa blogspero.

hangsarap mag hiatus lol pasok nako sa banga! =(

We both miss it

When I was in my first course in college, I have this guy bestfriend, I can defined him as refined, religious and funny.  We’ve seen our growth, we shared good and bad memories until situation parted our ways. We made a promise once that we will finish first our course bago mag-gf and mag-bf, I could still recall the 5 thousand pesos pustahan, whoever get into a relationship first will pay 5 thousand pesos. We’re still teenagers! We think that way! Hahaha

He was my bestfriend, and I was the last person to know nagkaroon siya ng girlfriend, and boom! I hated him so much that I wanted to throw him from the 5^th floor where our department belongs. I verbally expressed that I hate him, that he broke our usapan and I was really afraid that hindi siya makatapos dahil masisira ang buhay niya dahil sa pag-ggf! it’s not about the money but it’s loyalty and word of honor. Ang stupid ng isip ko noon! Hahaha now I realized how stubborn and selfish I was!! And it really happened, he stopped, he didn’t go to school anymore, I haven’t heard about him ever since.

A year or two I think, he came back to school, he tried to approach me but I was already closed. I still expressed my emotions that I was really mad at him. (i have no other reason of being mad except that promise, I don’t have any feelings for him!! He is just a friend to me!) Every time he wanted to talk to me, I refused and I openly express that he has no room in my life anymore. I lost him, she lost me.

More than 6 years had passed, maybe, I can’t count it. Our path crossed online, we talked sa ym, I even forgot na nag-away pala kami noon! Hahaha shit ang utak ko! Hahaha tan-enah!! He told me “I want to tell you that I consider you really as my bestfriend” and oh my god!! As in like, hell! I said “yeah, me too and I missed you” simple as that. Then our communication went off again because I keep on changing numbers at that time dahil may issue din ako sa own life ko! Hahaha and I know he is been busy also sa girlfriend niya, sa work and even his past time – online games.

Lately, I was online sa fb and I saw his updated profile, I come to like one of his updates and unexpectedly biglang beep! “hey musta?” and the conversation ended into having a coffee kapag may time. And I said “we need to catch up” and he replied “yah, a lot!” and I realized how many days of his lives I missed, the memories we should create, the laughter that we both shared and the ups and downs in his life being his best friend, I wish I was there walking with him.

Now we’re texting back again, just now and decided to meet tomorrow after how many years I avoided him, I ignored him. What I only wish now is I hope we could still patch things up and create new memories. Things may be different this time between us as best of friends, but let’s just see, kwento ko nalang bukas! Hahaha para may thrill naman! hehehe